Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
Get the Douche Canoemug. A person who has exceeded the levels of douche bag and is not quite douchey enough to be considered an asshole.
by Gotham in ashes August 31, 2013
Get the Douche canoemug. 
Get the douche canoemug. by txdollface April 26, 2016
Get the Douche Canoemug. A person that on regular basis acts in a non polite away, typically a man, trying to repeatedly (just like you are paddling a canoe down the river) hurt you, usually doing or saying things out of spite, or spreading rumors that are not even accurate.
by JasonC123 August 14, 2021
Get the Douche Canoemug. Someone so full of themselves, that they feel their physical appearance entitles them to to be admired. At which point, they then utilize this false sense of admiration to attempt to take advantage of infatuated victims.
That douche canoe thinks that just because he tries to impersonate Kurt Cobain, it automatically makes him a talented idol, when in reality he is an unskilled parasite.
by Seattle010518 January 7, 2018
Get the Douche Canoemug. OMG he is being so obnoxious for no reason, like first he is all nice and I think we will be friends, but now he is just being a douche canoe.
by adidasDUDE August 30, 2025
Get the Douche Canoemug.