cooch crumpets

a genital yeast infection

the doctor diagnosed me with cooch crumpets

by hgffff March 27, 2019

Cock Crumpet

A very sexually desirable and attractive person.

I haven’t seen him all weekend. He’s got a new bit of Cock crumpet.

by Petunia Fortunia March 5, 2022

Soggy Crumpet

Another male masturbating game similar to soggy biscuit, but much worse as the target is now a crumpet (a much more absorbent vessel). Participants must circle jerk onto the crumpet. Whoever comes first is deemed the winner and the loser must eat the cum-loaded crumpet.

Soggy biscuit? That's nothing, try soggy crumpet!

by yoshi12 October 10, 2014

Crumpet sucker

A derogatory term used to describe the British, as they love their crumpets.

American: "Ah, here comes the crumpet sucker!"

by He8i3 May 4, 2022

Gravy Crumpet

A sexual act - rimming someone with explosive diarrhoea.

Oh man, I was with Joe last night, we drank Moviprep and gave each other the Gravy Crumpet. Best night I've ever had.

by Legandor January 8, 2022

gourmet crumpet

A nice “bit of crumpet” who is gourmet in her sexual flexiblitly: in particular, receiving pleasure by watching and facilitating her man in to a ménage a trois. And/or is orally fixated.

.oh Mella ..shes amazing and loves watching me fuck other girls and joining in just at the right moment to get us all to cum at the same time... she really is Gourmet Crumpet.

by Oblique Geek January 12, 2018

english crumpet

The act of eating a crumpet out of a pussy

He had an English crumpet for breakfast

by Dr.seemorevaginas December 8, 2013