The Italian Birthday

When you go to an upscale restaurant in a major city with a strict dress code (the kind of place that lends out a jacket to the sap that forgot his at home) without a jacket, a ridiculously colored pair of pants, and an obnoxious bow tie or better yet in shorts, flip flops and no tie, either way with your sleeves rolled up. You then manage somehow to be seated against the establishment's policies. Shortly thereafter you are sung happy birthday in Italian by a portly employee. For additional fun, go to the bathroom all the way across the restaurant in your shorts, thereby giving everyone a second look at your audacity.
Guy 1: She didn't tell me the place would be so fancy. I was insanely underdressed.
Guy 2: So, what'd you do?
Guy 1: What any man would do. I went in there, met her dad and brother, and pulled The Italian Birthday.
Guy 2: How'd that turn out?
Guy 1: Oh they hate me, but it was funny as hell.
by R-Dizawg July 01, 2013
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Italian Wedding

Male-male anal sex.
Pardon me, would you like to come back to my place and have an Italian Wedding?
by toastingsubs April 20, 2011
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Smol Italian

A person of or accused of having Italian ethnicity that is also really smol
That Nate is such a smol Italian, look at that classical Italian ramen noodles
by Kuhl Penguin February 02, 2018
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The Italian Typewriter

The act of furiously poking a woman’s breasts, preferably large and on the nipples, then slapping them to the right, like you would a typewriter.
Bro I did the Italian Typewriter to Stacy last night, and then she came like Niagara Falls.
by EBT03 May 05, 2019
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Italian wetmop

A regal act worthy of the Caesars of Rome. This action involves not showering for a minimum period of 3 days. During this period, one's scrotum becomes a melting pot of sweat, oil, and vinegar. After the marinating process, the person approaches either a sleeping girlfriend or unsuspecting female and drops their wet sack directly onto the victim's eyes, with the asshole over the nose. The sleeper will awaken to a warm Italian howdy. Rustic with a touch of pink eye
Boyfriend: Good morning sweetness.
Girlfriend: OH gawd! What have you done to me?!
Boyfriend: The old Italian Wetmop girl! I'll drive you to the clinic
by Catsinthevents August 01, 2022
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italian wine

what you had before you wrote your crush
"i had italian wine"
"cool, so what are you telling me"
"that i would have loved to stroll around this place with you.
and that i want to believe that you would have loved it too"
"..dicky sticky gay cum licky......................
OK, no, yes, i think i would have loved it too"
" we have to seize these opportunities! Dublin, Venice, you know. they're there!"
by Krkič November 25, 2019
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Italian Escape Hatch

All cars since 2001 have had a trunk emergency release (located inside of the trunk). This has prevented mafia types, hit men, etc. from using newer cars when kidnapping victims.
Joey owed like 6 dimes to Vinny's crew, so they picked him up and shoved him in the trunk. Lucky for him, the numbnuts didn't realize their car had an Italian escape hatch, and he busted out of there at the first stop sign.
by tripmobius February 12, 2025
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