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holy monkey fuck

Holy Monkey Fuck
/hoh-lee /muhng-kee/ fuhk/

noun (adjective)
1. A phrase or exclamation uttered by a shocked individual after reading a text message from one of their friends who may be drunk-texting them, trying to express an idea or thought, but actually has no sense of order and has said nothing.
Jim: Sandy, did you read that text from Mike?
Sandra: Not yet. Give me a second…….

Message from Mike via text:
“Last time I try to do that with 3 different cities can the long arm of the law done crushed me smile to a cinder”

Sandra: HOLY MONKEY FUCK!

Similar to:

What the fuck / Oh My God / Da Fuck is u sayin
by Kouzelne Prsty September 3, 2016
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Holy Ronald Reagan

1. Expression of excitement.

2. Thinking that Ronald is one of the sexiest presidents.

3. Thinking someone loks like Ronald Reagan.
Molly exclaims, "Holy Ronald Reagan." when she sees the president on CNN.

"He looks like Holy Ronald Reagan!" Raven admired.
by Raven Bishop May 25, 2012
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holy shit nipples

1. large sized nipples usually found on breasts, which are worthy of an reclamation mark.

2. a expressive way of expressing amazement, excitement, or amusement.
*a women bearing such nipples flashed a person* "holy shit nipples!"

"holy shit nipples, I just got into college!"
by gregoriouse June 21, 2012
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Holy Crap - Handles

The Handles that are sometimes on the inside roof of a car. Normally found toward the front. You'll grab these handles and say 'Holy Crap!' Or something similar upon a sudden shock in a car, such as hard braking, or sudden turns.
Bob: "Yo check out my Wheels!"
Car spins out
Rob: "HOLY CRAP" *Grabs Holy Crap - Handles*
by HOLY@CRAP June 18, 2011
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spilt holy water

Accidentally randomly ejaculating at inappropriate/illogical times.
I spilt holy water at grandmas funeral.
by hdd3thh April 14, 2023
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Holy Fuck Moment

The "Holy Fuck Moment", coined by Craig Sibley, is a phrase used when you suddenly realize how amazing being alive is.
Like stopping on the side of the road just because that mountain was cool, and saying "Holy Fuck". A good chance to talk about positive things in your life and share with others :).
Guy 1: man, I had the coolest Holy Fuck Moment the other day
Guy 2: Oh, awesome! what was it?
Guy 1: I was on my way to work this morning and the fog came down on the mountains and looked super cool. I really appreciated it.
Guy 2: That's awesome dude!
by *Dingledick* November 9, 2018
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holy cactus fuck

That wonderful phrase which is uttered by the speaker when his standards in life are so low, that he would consider the action of having sexual intercourse with a cactus, equal to spreading the word of the lord; thus combining holiness, and repetitively and violently shoving your penis into a cactus to the point where either you bleed out from blood loss, or the cactus calls the police for relentless sexual assault, and turning it into that sweet phrase we know and love.

*Notice I said "he", as women have the right mind to keep them from giving just enough of shit to not utter this phrase, although it has happened in rare cases.
64 year old on Viagra and pain meds: "HOLY CACTUS FUCK"
Married son of 64 year old on Viagra and pain meds: "Oh shit here we go again... Honey hide the cactus!"
by toodlefucker6969 July 10, 2017
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