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Jesus

the Son of God and the Second Person of the Holy Trinity. Christians believe that through his crucifixion and subsequent resurrection, God offered humans salvation and eternal life.
Jesus is the Savior of the world> John 3:16
by Ashiepatasharoni October 29, 2019
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Jesus

The head of Christianity. He is also somebody a lot of people fucking need.
"Hey bro Hillary Clinton needs dome Jesus in her life"
by rwrwgwgregtrw December 6, 2020
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Jesus

A random hipster in 0AD that tried to get peoples attention that God was real. He also got sacrificed, was resurected 3 days later and died again.
Jesus was a believer in God, so the people crucified him out of hatred!
by BumBumBoi January 5, 2021
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Jesus

Jesus
Jesus Christ is Jesus
by 10,11 buff cat June 7, 2022
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Jesus

Tim: Jesus died for my sins, I love that guy.
Karl: Yeah, me too, thanks Jesus.
by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022
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Jesus Chriss

1. A biblical figure from Morgan City who was robbed of the copyrights to the hit singles of his band, "Jimmy Condomhead and the Rubberband peanut Stand" by his rival,Jesus Christ. Jesus Chriss played his golden chart topping hits for Robert Gertrud, who in turn went behind his back and pitched the songs to Geffin Records. David Geffin signed Robert Gertrud to a 5 million dollar contract and suggested he use the stage name Jesus Christ. As legend has it, Jesus Chriss became so angry that he ripped out his own spinal cord and fatally stabbed Jesus Christ repeatedly in the lower abdomen in a back alley way in the coal shute yelling, "Don't mess with Morgan City Trash"! He also liked to wear old man pants from thrift stores.
2.Someone who remains broke and bitter in a sticky robe that smells like dog shit (and piss!) because someone keeps stealing his chart topping hits and selling them to Geffin Records...and he just can't figure out who the fuck keeps doing it.
3.Someone who likes to wear old man pants
4.Someone with cronic back problems who is contantly treated unfairly by hospital personnel because they are jealous of their song writing abilities.
1."Hey, is this Brian?" "I stole your tascam recorder and I'm gonna make millions off of your music you piece of shit!" "You're a real Jesus Chriss you know that, you fuck?"
2."Don't be pullin a Jesus Chriss on me tonight...this is a funeral we're going to." "Put on some nice slacks."
3."Nurse Becky, tell that Jesus Chriss we won't treat him." "But Doctor, his stats are dropping!" "Let them drop!" "No one is going to stop me from winning first place at the Tucson Tapdancing Saxiphone and Bongo festival...AND I MEAN NO ONE!!!"
by Ana Mocity January 29, 2008
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the Jesus Triphecta

another word for the Holy Trinity(the father,son,and holy spirit) when reffering to Roman Catholic belif.
Jimmy: What's your stand on Christianity?

Paul: I believe in the Jesus Triphecta shit, but I think the rest is pure bullshit.
by Mario B. April 28, 2008
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