it's not the size of the log, it's the quality of the wood

Referring to penis size.

"Hey Bret"
"Yea Toby"
"I know you got a small penis and I just want you to know it's not the size of the log, it's the quality of the wood"
"Thanks Toby"

by Johnny Boy 12347 January 25, 2017

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Mid-log

The time between one end of the fecal matter is coming out of your ass and that same end touches the water of the toilet.

Mom:
Hey Tom come take the trash out!

Tom: I can’t Mom I’m mid-log!

by Cwl2000 October 04, 2018

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Swamp Logging

the act of defecating on someone's anus and then having anal sex with them.

After a long night of drinking Hamm's, Gregor needed to defecate, but he was horny. He was destined to go swamp logging.

by ross_perot September 13, 2010

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chocolate-log face

n. One who "has feces for a face", but encoded so children and/or significant-others won't know you just said, "shit-face".

"WHAT?! You're asking me to reimburse you for the shipping-costs for the Christmas gifts you just gave us?!?!

You are such an effing CHOCOLATE-LOG FACE!!!"

(A variant, "choc-logged", can also be applied to describe past-drunkenness. For example:

"Dude...Yeah! <shit! the wife walked in> 'Um, yeah...I was definitely 'choc-logged' last night. Hehe....I have to go. Bye")

by FunkPumpkin September 10, 2011

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