River is an amazing guy, blonde hair, blue-greenish eyes. He is sooooo good locking and so dang attractive it'll make you cry. His smile makes you weak in the knees and damn is he a good kisser. You want to spend all your time with a river, he loves being active and the outdoors. He's a huuuge flirt and could break your heart in an instant, However he is a sweetheart and a very genuine kind person. Loving river is one of the best decisions you can make, but one with drastic consequences if it goes wrong. He's hilarious af and loves to listen to music in his old truck. River is dumb and can make dumb decisions but he'll always come back to you. He always wants to be your hero, and overthinks constantly. He will raise your standards and he loves to spoil you. Overall, River is an amazing guy, worth the heartache, AND HE IS HOT AS H*LL
by ursowelcomemylove March 19, 2021
Get the River mug.When a little midget lady shoves a Hocking River carp so far up her poopysnatch that it swims out of her twat causing an explosive Hocking River dwarfgasim.
Me: hey Teresa eeestomp why are you quivering so hard, it's 75⁰ outside?
Teresa: that carp gave me a Hocking River dwarfgasim. At least I smell better now.
Teresa: that carp gave me a Hocking River dwarfgasim. At least I smell better now.
by Recycle champ January 24, 2025
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Get the River Run mug.River aka rivka. River is someone you meet through mutual friends that you both kinda hate, but he hates everyone so it’s okay. He’s a nice guy with long hair, but you always wonder if he actually washes it. He likes to stalk your Spotify but will not turn his on like a little tiny bitch. With river, you never know what he’s thinking, and you’re almost positive he has a secret life. He will be a decent Vice President, but nothing crazy. And his shoes are never tied ever.
Wow so that’s river of you!
by Moneycatcher May 26, 2022
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