Standing Lapdance

A technique used by the morbidly obese at the titty-bar. The fatty stands against the bar during a 'lap-dance' in order to get his junk rubbed against by the stripper. A normal sitting lap-dance causes said fatty's gut to protrude over their penis and block any possible groin stimulation, ending in frustration and a waste of money. This technique has been witnessed anywhere there are fat guys and strippers in the same room.

"When I finish these hot-wings I am going to slide up to the bar and get me a standing lapdance." Said Big John at the Red Carpet Lounge.

by Pinkgoopglop October 12, 2012

Hat Stand

1)
- Used to describe ones state of mind.
- Can be said both in a positive or negative manner.
- One who is off-balance; so to speak.

2)
- Used to describe someone or something that is useless or purposeless.

3)
- In some cases it can be used to describe a person who is useless and at the sametime; mad.

**Originated in the Fylde area of Lancashire, England. Some believe Mr. M. Walolski first used it after leaving a nightclub in Blackpool.

1)
- After a large consumption of alcohol and narcotics; one could describe themselves as being "Hat Stand" or "A Hat Stand".
- Legend has it that Mr. M. Walolski, whilst falling out of a nightclub door said, " For fucks sake, I'm a fucking Hat Stand!" Interesting as he had no hat and couldn't stand.
- "Watch out for him; he's a fucking Hat Stand! He'll kick-off if you just look at his beer"

2)
An Ant Farm is as useless as "A Hat Stand".

3)
George W. Bush

by Ali. P October 4, 2006

Helmet stand

When you can stand and balance on your penis or cock with no support from anyother limb.

I can do ten cock pushes and a helmet stand!!!!

by BigDNash January 24, 2019

stand power

A characteristic that combines total badassery, big dick energy, and very high strength. Only the biggest chads are able to achieve stand power. One can not achieve stand power by seeking to achieve it. The characteristic itself seeks out the individuals worthy enough of it.

You see that guy over there? He is not a regular chad. No, no. His energy is so massive that he has achieved stand power.

by Starrav July 6, 2020

standing doggy

When a relationship between a male and female becomes intimate and the female is told to “turn around”. The male stands up on the edge of the bed and proceeds to lay pipe in doggystyle while standing. It is widely known as the best sex position. RUFF RUFF 🐶

Did you do standing doggy on her last night?

by Sigma Fart September 9, 2023

Hooker stand

The way a hooker stands in her heels when she is working one heel up against the wall the other on the ground

Stop using hooker stand out here or otherwise you will be mistaken for a hooker

by Rock n roll with Ziggy March 18, 2021

Stand and Serve

Whilst standing at the stove cooking some bacon for a hearty breakfast one "serves," i.e. ejaculates in their lady's mouth, who has been on her knees providing oral stimulation. Usually performed by weightlifting types who want all the bacon for themselves and force their lady to have semen for breakfast.

1) I gave my girlfriend the stand and serve this morning before she went to work. She had to get another shower because she was covered in bacon grease and my semen.

2) Lady: Can't you cook something besides bacon while you stand and serve me?

Man: No Slut! I need that protein for my squat tonight!

by Bulbous Jack H November 15, 2011