Sydneysiders have quipped that ‘the only good thing to come out of Melbourne is the Hume Highway’, not realising that the same joke works in Melbourne as the highway links both cities. There has always been a
friendly rivalry between the two cities, probably because Melbourne sucks. See how easy it falls from a Sydneysider? It probably originated because Melbourne had a ‘legitimate’ birth whereas Sydney was, if you’ll excuse the French, a bâtarde of a town, due to its convict origins.
Melbourne has always had a certain dignity and conservatism that Sydney has lacked, which is only something to be proud of if you have it. In the late 19th century both cities competed for national capital status with the
southern capital billing itself as ‘Marvellous Melbourne’. This was parodied to ‘Marvellous Smellbourne’ thanks to the open sewers in the 1890s. Sydney would have undoubtedly been peeved when Melbourne won the 1956
Olympic Games and became the country’s sporting capital.
Of course, Sydney got her own back with the 2000 Games. And Sydney would have nodded knowingly in 1959 when
On the Beach was being filmed in Melbourne and Ava Gardner reputedly remarked 'It's a story about the
end of the world, and Melbourne sure is the right place to film it'. I think, however, that says more about Ava than Melbourne.
In a game of cards, Melbourne seems to have the trump cards while Sydney's bluffing.
Sydney leads with Darling Harbour. Trumped by Southgate. Star City Casino? Trumped by Crown Casino. Leichhardt for
Italian food? Trumped by Lygon Street. Chinatown? Trumped by Little Bourke Street. The Golden Slipper? Trumped by the Melbourne Cup. Centrepoint Tower? Trumped by the Rialto. The SCG? No, the MCG takes that one. Central Railway? Not a patch on Flinders Street Station. Haymarket? Would be lost in the Victoria Markets. Live theatre and pub comedy? Melbourne takes another one.
So, in the end, Melbourne is the better city to live in. And FYI, our weather is not that bad at all.
