Brandon Holmes

A minor actress who was so obsessed with Tom Cruise since she was a teen. She had a poster of him on her wall. She because an actress and starred in dreck like 'Dawson's' and some forgettable flicks. She met Tom Cruise during the Aughts and every time you watched the tube or surfed the net, you'd see pics of them smooching under a table, on a floor, against a wall, everywhere. He was 43, she was 26 and a virgin (supposedly). Converting to Tom's Scientology cult, they held a shotgun wedding that her Catholic parents didn't even bother attending. After giving birth to daughter Suri and Tom eating her placenta, they later divorced. Now she dates/chases other movie stars so she is one of the most notorious STARFUCKERS around today. She sold her soul for this. A total sellout.

1. Katie Holmes was a cute young lady when she chased Tom Cruise/Cruz. now as a starfuck single mom, she's looking tired and isn't getting too much Hollyweird work lately. But she got that Big Fat Money and child support. Yeah yeah yeah.

2. One of my hobbies is astronomy and during the late Aughts a comet named Holmes (after it's discoverer) experienced an unexpected ice explosion on its head, making a nice display in binoculars. My friends and family joked about Comet Holmes being 'prettier than Sherlock Holmes, Larry Holmes (80s boxing champ with NO ego) and Katie Holmes'. I said, 'Of course Comet Holmes is 'prettier than Katie, she's just a gold-digging dumb starfucker'. Then I got dirty looks.

by I Saw U2 Live Twice April 13, 2022

Flag

Get the Katie Holmes mug.