Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
Get the Douche Canoemug. Noun:
An individual capable of such douchebaggary, that their capacity well exceeds the confines off just a bag.
An individual capable of such douchebaggary, that their capacity well exceeds the confines off just a bag.
That Billy Hotdog is such a douche canoe, he had to sign a written agreement with his boss, limiting his overabundant workplace douchebaggary.
by Bigbrothathunda!!! September 19, 2019
Get the Douche Canoemug. by Pv35 February 2, 2017
Get the Douche Canoemug. When you're in school and the hot kid is being a jerk so you don't want to say the whole thing but you have to bring the point across
by Ha you thought June 8, 2017
Get the Douche canoemug. by Potato chips taste good July 29, 2019
Get the Douche canoemug. by Mcmaster carr October 14, 2016
Get the Douche canoemug. "If I put a spoiler on my Daewoo you think the chick's would dig it?"..........."No Brad, you already look like a DOUCHE CANOE as it is by owning a daewoo alone."
by Ahhstin666 March 21, 2021
Get the Douche canoemug.