Backwoods Bidet

When an individual has run out of toilet paper while camping and a good samaritan pisses on their asshole to clean it.

"Bro! Out of TP over here!"
"How about I give you a backwoods bidet bro?"
"Thanks bro!"

by LouisianaLightninBolt September 11, 2019

Ukrainian Bidet

When a person crawls into the space under a porta potty and spits a mouthful of shit water all over a dangling grundle.

Jim the salty hobo gave Jenny a Ukrainian Bidet, and her pussy lips turned green and fell off. He had a shit eating grin afterwards.

by Steven Spalldarph December 9, 2019

bangkok bidet

When you realize that you are out of toilet paper in the middle of your BM and have to place your rear end under the sink/shower faucet and wash yourself off.

Dude, I forgot I was out of tp and had to use the old Bangkok Bidet, it was awful!

by Jordo951 September 23, 2017

bidet envy

When your peasant friends post memes of you on a bidet because they’re too fucking cheap to experience a kings throne in their own everyday life.

Patrick keeps sending photoshops of Mooch on the toilet. Man that dude has some serious bidet envy.

by Bidet King November 8, 2022

Birmingham Bidet

When you poop in a porta potty and you get some of the blue water backsplash on your butt

Steve had Taco Bell and had to poop really bad and saw a porta potty, but ended up going in the woods because he didn’t want to give himself a Birmingham Bidet

by LieutenantDangle August 29, 2021

Cappuccino Bidet

The act of a self flushing toilet automatically flushing itself before you are done with your bowel movement thus causing your own excriment to splash upwards in a bidet-esque fashion and therefore landing on your backside. Usually experienced in a public restroom.

I was taking a shit, I leaned forward to grab some toilet paper to wipe my ass. Then al of a sudden SWOOSH, Cappuccino Bidet!

by The DJNYC April 8, 2010

bieber bidet

(V) The surprise splash back of cold water on your sphincter after dropping a large shit, usually before the sphincter can completly close. Involuntary exclamations are said to sound just like Justin Bieber when he sings.

No matter how I aim or pinch it off, I always get a bieber bidet during a big dump.

by seven of ten November 21, 2010