An academic parasite is a person who feeds on your intellect regarding a particular subject, usually before an exam or a paper is due.
by antibloodsucker November 1, 2010

That one student that sits either in the front or the back of the classroom who raises their hand in class only to show off his/her knowledge on the topic at hand not to appear smart, but to put others efforts down, hence making themselves look good. Also paired with bogarting the professor's time at the end of class to share asinine facts and figures instead of asking questions and leaving like the rest of the class.
Student 1 (to professor in class): I wasn't too sure about what the book meant by the reference to the "South" in chapter two; I think it means (enter answer). Could you please explain?
Professor: Interesting point Student 1.
Academic Douchebag: (To student 1) Actually professor, I believe the answer to that question was actually answered in the footnotes in chapter one. It doesn't really mean THAT, it means (academic douchebaggey answer)
Professor: Interesting point Student 1.
Academic Douchebag: (To student 1) Actually professor, I believe the answer to that question was actually answered in the footnotes in chapter one. It doesn't really mean THAT, it means (academic douchebaggey answer)
by ohemgeee February 12, 2010

A type of dissorder that freshman get due to a lack of social life. This comes from the root word 'morf' meanig: to change, form.
by lolsammyhammy May 28, 2009

Student A: Crap I forgot my essay.
Student B: Playing academic limbo eh?
Teacher : How low can you go~!
Student B: Playing academic limbo eh?
Teacher : How low can you go~!
by BlazeRaider May 3, 2009

1. Any discussion with someone when they claim great theoretical or hypothetical; not practical, realistic, or directly useful knowledge designed to make themselves feel good, and to leave you feeling like a sticky mess.
2. Any discussion where claimed knowledge is discussed where the discussion is of great personal pleasure for the Academic Masturbator, but any others find it offensive and gross.
2. Any discussion where claimed knowledge is discussed where the discussion is of great personal pleasure for the Academic Masturbator, but any others find it offensive and gross.
1. The public debate was railroaded by some bigot that just spewed hours of academic masturbation.
2. I hate having her in our study group since all she offers is academic masturbation.
THREE EXAMPLES OF ACADEMIC MASTURBATION:
Four Year Old Example: My daddy is better than your daddy because he's a fireman. Besides, you're a poopoo head.
Dungeon and Dragons Example: There is no way your 3 hit-die Orc could kill my level 3 Halfling thief! (four hour argument ensues)
Theology Example: The end is coming soon and God will kill you heathen scum that heretically believe that the earth is over 6,000 years old. Furthermore, I am NOT an animal!
2. I hate having her in our study group since all she offers is academic masturbation.
THREE EXAMPLES OF ACADEMIC MASTURBATION:
Four Year Old Example: My daddy is better than your daddy because he's a fireman. Besides, you're a poopoo head.
Dungeon and Dragons Example: There is no way your 3 hit-die Orc could kill my level 3 Halfling thief! (four hour argument ensues)
Theology Example: The end is coming soon and God will kill you heathen scum that heretically believe that the earth is over 6,000 years old. Furthermore, I am NOT an animal!
by Steven G. Peterson October 20, 2008

1) Making absurd or funny comments in the back of the class, and get a great response.
2) A competition wherein requires hours upon hours of studying
3) To spend hours writing a speech that you know will never be given to anyone outside of the classroom.
4) To be Ghetto
2) A competition wherein requires hours upon hours of studying
3) To spend hours writing a speech that you know will never be given to anyone outside of the classroom.
4) To be Ghetto
1) Jimmy's comment was so Academic Decathlon, the teacher even laughed.
2) Academic Decathlon can be a PAIN IN THE ASS, but I love the class.
3) I Academic Decathloned for about 6 months now. It sucks that all that work, and building myself up has come to absolutely nothing.
Hahaha.
4) AYE bee awl Academic Decathlon awn yoh izznazz ihf yoo downt bak awf.
2) Academic Decathlon can be a PAIN IN THE ASS, but I love the class.
3) I Academic Decathloned for about 6 months now. It sucks that all that work, and building myself up has come to absolutely nothing.
Hahaha.
4) AYE bee awl Academic Decathlon awn yoh izznazz ihf yoo downt bak awf.
by David Demola April 24, 2005

The practice in which professors and teachers find new ways to talk about hypothetical and unpractical solutions to nonexistent problems or scenarios. Simultaneous waste of taxpayer money may or may not be present depending on the type of institution.
This new class is a huge waste of time; the professor loves academic masturbation, but hasn't actually taught us anything useful.
by bob seeply December 13, 2016
