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Breaking news!

Sentient chicken pot-pie doesn't like fire. Condemns Self-Immolation.
Hym "Breaking news! I'm running out of 'things that go in ovens' to call him. A Thanksgiving turkey! Living lasagna! Assorted bakery foods. Muffin (a repeat), Brownies (Which SOUNDS racist but isn't), Birthday Cake (Just seems lazy), A ziti? Baked ziti? I don't even know what that is. It's hard to think of non-bakery things. Meatloaf (another repeat). Roast beef? Do jews have baked goods? That'd be like a poptart cooking a poptart, wouldn't it? Pizza. Calzones. A baby. You can cook a baby in an oven. So, that counts... Hmmm... Pie. Obviously. Stuffed hashbrowns... I need to cook more."
by Hym Iam February 29, 2024
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7 news

Little Timmy: 'BrO i hEArD tHaT is iS Not sAFe to GeT leTtErs froM ChinA dUe tO CovID!!!!!!11111!!!1!1111'
Gramps: 'whered you hear this?
Little Timmy: '7 news'
Gramps: smacks into the abyss
by iDontTrustYou April 16, 2024
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Sneaky Neubs

When you are fucking a girl in missionary position with her legs around your shoulders, then pull out and try to sneakily put it in her bum hole instead of her pussy.
My boyfriend is always pulling out and trying to pull a sneaky Neubs, but my asshole is too tight so it never fits.
by ShadowManScoobs May 2, 2024
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Monkey News

A cult classic radio/podcast feature on "The Ricky Gervais Show", in which Karl Pilkington tells Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant a ludicrous story about some monkey(s), which is always equally retarded and hilarious.
"Ooh, CHIMPFANCY THAT it's monkey news ya fuckigrrrcnt..."

"He drove to Spain"

"DON'T TALK SHIT"
by hans_chavez June 5, 2024
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The News

In fictional television, The News is a Paraguayan English-speaking newscast broadcasted by Standard Channel, BTV and ON TV, that began in September 23, 2023 when Standard Channel launched, and it didn't became a tri-channel newscast until August 5, 2024

Since when The Kildovian Federation and Hemidaia-Kon became as friends and the shipping allegations began, The News had become a propaganda tool of the Kildovian community and bytepax, making it critical and manipulative. Nicknames for The News often include "The Lies" and "The Nonsenses"
Guy 1: Did you heard that The News criticized PortuSwissball's expose about Barara?
Guy 2: Yeah, as of now The News is bullshit and not pretty trusted
by bytepax421 October 9, 2024
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BBC News

Cock-sucking professional lie spreaders.
It's basically the British version of CNN, which is still shitty.
See propaganda.
The professional idiot went down to his house to watch BBC news.
Idiot: "Oh yeah, Vladimir Putin totally railed Boe Jiden on the hallway!"
by The real Benjamin Earthmover December 8, 2024
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Roach News Network

Roach News Network is a news source that covers a wide range of topics including
-politics
-controversial people
-conspiracy's
-random topics
It's CEO Asmongold is fair and try to see both sides of an argument although his bias sometimes gets in the way he is still right 95% of the time
Person1: Roach News Network is the only trustworthy news source

Person2: no you're just retarded

Person1: at least i don't doomscroll reddit all day unlike you
by hell's playwright Louis January 28, 2025
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