speed dick

the worst thing in the world. your penis looks as if it has taken a time machine back to when you were first born. yet you are really horny, but are scared to show it to women, because they might mistake it for a vienna sausage.

Right now i have been on a speed run since 10 o'clock in the morning (it is now 12:15 at night). I've been in ice cold ocean water, and my penis is smaller than ever, plus I cannot acheive an erection. my nuts have un-dropped. fuck speed dick.

by Joe Willy Namath February 21, 2009

Dick Scab

a piece of crusty skin that forms after you scrape your cock from a serious session of dick rubbing masturbation.

Sarah: Oh Etienne, I want you, let me suck you off
Etienne: Aww yeah, i'm so coked up right now
Sarah: Uhh... what the fuck is that shit?
Etienne: What shit?
Sarah: Do you have syphilis or some shit?
Etienne: No you dumb bitch, it's a dick scab

by Lord Dick October 13, 2011

dick around

(instransitive) to waste time; to lose focus; to lack seriousness of purpose

We finished the treasure hunt while the other team was still dicking around (with the map).

by tpbenelli July 21, 2004

dick sweat

The fluids which accumulate on the penis during and after sex (sweat, cum, or mixture of both). This fluid has been said to have a taste similar to Jose Cuervo.

Friend 1: "You wanna do a shot of Jose?"
Friend 2: "Hell no, that shit tastes like dick sweat."

by Chipper Jones December 13, 2007

Simple Dick

No relations, no connections, no feelings.

Simply dick.

Jane was really stressed, but doesn't want a man. So she got some simple dick.

Hey yo gurl, you want some of dat simple dick.

by stoned manatee May 29, 2014

Dick Slappington

1. An English blackman legend from the 18th century who was known to whip out his wang and leave welts on the faces of his enemies

2. The act of cockslapping with extreme prejudice

1. "Wow that Dick Slappington - he was a hero."

2. "Remember that girl from the party? I took her home and gave her a royal Dick Slappington!"

by Jooglin January 2, 2010

Dick Roll'd

The act of going onto a random video chat service (i.e. chat roulette, omegle, etc.), getting naked, laying on your side, and tucking your penis in between your legs. Then you point the webcam between your upper thigh and lower torso, and begin to video chat with strangers. Once another male believes he is looking at a vagina, you start to tease him and make him believe your a chick. Once he says the key words to "open your legs" or "show me more", you open your legs real wide and say "YOU'VE JUST BEEN DICK ROLL'D!!"

Friend 1: Hey dude, did you get any tits on Omegle last night?

Friend 2: No, I never do, so I just Dick Roll'd a bunch of people.

Freind 1: That's fucking nasty bro.

Friend 2: Yea I know, but the look on their faces is priceless!

by JordanMichael September 12, 2011