let me touch you where your heart is

One direction's way of saying they want to touch your breasts.

"Let me touch you where your heart is" - one direction, temporary fix

by urapota July 16, 2021

I said, you look fat in those pants!

An effective rebuttal used by a man who has just been denied dancing privileges with the woman of his choice in a noisy club.

Man (yelling over the music): "DO YOU WANT TO DANCE?"
Woman (with a disgusted look on her face): "Not a chance!"

Man: "WHAT? NO. I SAID, YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS!"

by What the ? February 25, 2006

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

An efficient pick up line to filter out Millennials

Hey sweet cheeks, how do you like your eggs in the morning?

Fuck you asshole, I'm vegan

by The real Jim Bowen February 26, 2020

You'll go blind if you keep playing with those

A saying utilizing the aged myth that young boys will go blind if they masturbate too frequently.

This myth was created simply to discourage such behavior in adolescent children.

Guy 1: "I swear, that porn video is so hot I've beat the meat to it at least five times today."

Guy 2: "You know you'll go blind if you keep playing with those."

by daggit July 1, 2011

Don't you just hate that? 738 annoying things

Funny and truthful book by Scott Cohen (An Everyday guy, Not a Famous Author) is a collection of those everyday little annoyances that we face in life (738 of them!). This book will definitly make you say "That's so true!" and "I thought I was the only one who notcied that!" because it's so observational and you'll laugh so hard because of how real and truthful it is.

Selected Annoyances:

-When you forget the initial thought you were thinking of, and then stumble on to a thought far less engaging and far less interesting then the thought you were thinking of before.

-When the Photographer sais "Cheese!" and realizes that there's something he had to fix on the camera, leaving you waiting there with a frozen smile that easily fades out into a phony grin.

- Having the suspiscion that using 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner is not as effective as if you used them both individually.

- The Vulnerability you feel while sitting on a public toilet.

- When the waitress asks "Is Everything alright here?" after you've taken a big bite out of a sandwich, causing you to grunt your response.

Just to name a few...

by Anonomously Anonomous September 14, 2005

You all would not have had, had I had not have had you all to have had.

The long version of y'all'd'nt've'd'd'i'd'nt've'd'y'all't've'd, which is the longest grammatically correct contraction. It means without me, you couldn't have done it.

P 1: We did it!
P 2: You all would not have had, had I had not have had you all to have had."

by George Washingmachine. January 3, 2021

Don't wipe your ass before you shit

1.An expression you use to tell a person to stop bragging who claims victory before a brawl,race,match,competiion or any other event that has yet to happen.

A)
Kevin: let's see who has the speed to make it to the finish line quicker.

Eric: Man I got this,I'm gonna murk your ass!!

Kevin: Don't wipe your ass before you shit Eric ;it's not over till is over.

B)
Eric:10 bucks I get a better grade in my physics test?

BeHa: Man you always say that but you always fail,don't wipe your ass before shit!!!!

Jack: Yo Eric you ain't beating noone shut upp!!!

Mick: Yea don't wipe your ass before shit!!!

by BeHa February 20, 2011