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douche canoe on the lazy river

The laziest band douche of them all. A person who is such a douche they need a canoe to hold all the doucheness and at the same time is to lazy to get anything productive accomplished.
RN is a douche canoe on the lazy river. I am glad i'm not him
by dtch lgnd September 2, 2015
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the douche

someone known to be very sorry due to the fact of being slow at getting things, very corny, brainless, straight wierd and most of all lacks sense of humor!!!
Dude Remar your the douche forever for a life time and a day!
by Green Luigi August 17, 2006
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Gallon Douche

That douche bag that goes to classes with a gallon jug of water or some other liquid. The need for this kind of hydration in a class that at most will be in session 3 hours, is excessive for any human being, even Michael Phelps.
"That guy brought a gallon of water to ENG 101? Really? What a Gallon Douche"

"Man, that guy looks like such a douche carrying that gallon of water across the quad. We should call him a Gallon Douche"
by mikedaman82000 March 31, 2010
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mayor of douchebagville

To be the number one douche in a group of douches. To show extreme features of douchism; thus necessitating a higher position in the name calling.
Guy 1: Do you know what i love? soap operas, the movie 'open water,' and trucker hats.
Guy 2: dude, you are the mayor of douchebagville
by Bobert December 20, 2004
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First-Class-Douche-Bag

beyond the motherfucker and fucktard here comes the First Class Douche Bag. Meant for people beyond the rank of Private Dumbass, Corpral Retard, Sergant Asshole, (or Assface which ever you prefer) Mayjor Douche Bag, Lieutenant Fucktard, Captain Motherfucker, and personal favorite; General Cockfacemotherfuckingretardedasshole.
Comes the First Class better that the rest First Class Douche Bad
Way to go you've been promoted to First-Class-Douche-Bag you fucking retard...
by Hioshi Kiintai March 24, 2010
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douchebag

The term "douchebag" generally refers to a male with a certain combination of obnoxious characteristics related to attitude, social ineptitude, public behavior, or outward presentation.

Though the common douchebag thinks he is accepted by the people around him, most of his peers dislike him. He has an inflated sense of self-worth, compounded by a lack of social grace and self-awareness. He behaves inappropriately in public, yet is completely ignorant to how pathetic he appears to others.

He often talks about how cool, successful, and popular he is, yet never catches on to the fact that he comes across as a total loser. Nevertheless, he firmly believes that he is the smartest, most desirable, and most charming person in the room... and will try to bad-rep anyone who would threaten to expose this facade.

He fancies himself a ladies’ man, yet tends to be a joke to all but the most naive of women. He tries to portray himself as part of the in-crowd (a fashionista, an upwardly mobile professional, the life of the party, etc.) but only succeeds in his own mind.

To everyone else, he is an annoying and arrogant phony who comes across as a wannabe overcompensating for his insecurities. He tries to appear like the center of whatever group will tolerate him, but in reality, he is just a tag-along who mooches drinks, women, contacts, social standing, and other benefits from the group... while contributing nothing.

A-list ego; D-list status.
A douchebag will often try to make a name for himself on the nightlife scene by attending exclusive parties, fashion events, and grand openings of new clubs, but usually has to kiss up to someone to get the invite. To that end, he will often target people in certain positions and try to befriend them to advance his social status and gain access (e.g. bar owners, party promoters, social network administrators, wealthy socialites, etc).

A douchebag will often bring his SLR to bars to take pictures of good looking girls (with or without their permission), perhaps pretending to be a professional photographer. He will try to be in as many photos as possible (often posing with his arms around total strangers or his friends’ girlfriends) and post them on his personal websites in an effort to convince his online community that he is a bigtime bar-star. He is also likely to boast about his "conquests" (usually exaggerated or fabricated), failing to realize that this only serves to impress fellow douchebags.

Who invited this douchebag... and why is he drinking from my bottle?
by Beijing2010 October 11, 2010
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