Where do babies come from?

The worst and the most awkward question your child will ask you in your lifetime (if you were a parent)

Don't bother lying, they will find out eventually.

Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!
Lois: WHAT IS IT????????????????????
Stewie: hi
Lois: I will send you to jesus
Stewie: I was actually going to ask you something.
Lois: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
Stewie: Where do babies come from?
Lois: From a stork..
Stewie: Isn't the baby too big?
Lois: It's a magik stork!
Stewie: That doesn't make sense.
Lois: It does.
Stewie: *GASP* DADDY FUCKED MOM~
Lois: *kills Stewie*

by Empress Kristi April 15, 2022

where's all this money supposed to come from ?

the assumption by marketeers, many politicians, and other slickee PEOPLE, that EVERYBODY is the "goose that laid the golden egg" !!

two thousand dollars a month for a two-bedroom apt ??...where's all this money supposed to come from ?

i'm already working 12hrs a day, six days a week at slave wages!, where's all this money supposed to come from ?

jim "pumped up" jane ! , he was wondering: where's all this money supposed to come from ? (while trying to get the $250,000 ! needed for age zero~18...)

by michael foolsley July 23, 2022

Ghost of Christmas yet to come

guy who rap-battled Ebeneezer Scrooge

Boo!
You're gonna die
With no-one to love you and no one to cry
Alone by youself on the bed of your death
With a stench of regret on your last dying breath
Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish man
With Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands
The penance you should pay for the way you behave
Is written as plain as the name on this grave
- The ghost of Christmas yet to come

by Ebeneezy November 11, 2022

Surf City, here we come

Theme song shared by Huntington Beach protestors and viruses alike.

As thousands of Californians stormed the beach to protest stay-at-home orders, the Coronavirus joined them in singing "Surf City, here we come!

by Monkey's Dad May 2, 2020

Son, can you come downstairs?

Alright, everyone get your notebooks out because this is our term today because this means that shit gonna go down, "Son, come downstairs" can go out different ways depending on the race of your parent (usually its your mom) if your white your gonna have that shit like its peaceful mode on Minecraft because they would probably yell at you or something. ANY OTHER RACE OTHER THAN WHITES, NIGGA YOU BETTER START RUNNING FOR THE HILLS LIKE A RUNAWAY SLAVE BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS ABOUT TO DO A MORTAL KOMBAT MOVESET ON YOUR ASS ABOUT TO SEND YOU TO JESUS

IF MOM WAS WHITE

Mom: Son, can you come downstairs?

Timmy: Mom, what the hell do you want

Mom: Timmy, can you tell me why you just killed your teacher? Its a very naughty thing to do

Timmy: What kind of retarded question is that mom? I was doing that shit because I was in a depressed state because of my goddamn teacher assigning me to much fucking homework, you filthy bitch. This conversation makes me uncomfortable and you are bringing my anxiety levels up, mommy

Mom: Ok, son, just wanted to make sure, if the cops come here, remember daddy has his guns downstairs!

Timmy: Ok bitch

IF YOUR MOM WAS ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHITE

Mom: Jamal Martin, get your ass down here before I drag it for you!

Jamal: Yes mom?

Mom: Why the fuck did I get a email from your teacher that you were misbehaving?

Jamal: Oh, its because of-

NEXT DAY

Timmy: Oh look, someone is on a milk cartoon!

by Niggainator January 1, 2023

***DISCLAIMER***: i did not actually [bad thing] This was a form of comedic expression where I say something outrageous that I actually didn't do, but say I did.

Saying: "***DISCLAIMER***: i did not actually bad thing This was a form of comedic expression where I say something outrageous that I actually didn't do, but say I did." Is a form of comedic expression where I say something outrageous that I actually didn't do, but say I did, then put a disclaimer confirming that the outrageous thing I said I did was a joke, even if it was obvious it was a joke without the disclaimer

Person 1: I fucked my mom ***DISCLAIMER***: i did not actually bad thing This was a form of comedic expression where I say something outrageous that I actually didn't do, but say I did.
Person 2: PFFT- WHY THE DISCLAIMER? 💀💀

by Josuke's Hair Is Best Hair August 19, 2023