Canada's History

A vile and depraved sex act for those with whom gerbilling was simply not enough. A gerbil is inserted into the anus for sexual stimulation, then, once removed, it is used to gag a partner's mouth, who is then (usually) double-penetrated.

"Did you hear Cindy's going to be the party?"
"Yeah, but I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole, I heard she did Canada's History with some random dude last week."
"I am horrified."

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"Did you hear about that magazine The Beaver?"
"What about it?"
"It's changing its name to 'Canada's History' because they thought it's name would no longer be censored for pornography!"
"Boy is that ironic!"

by Thulnak February 4, 2010

Canada's History

A furry, buck-toothed rag you could wring for eternity and never squelch a drop of blood or semen. Formerly called "The Beaver." Flag modelled after the quintessential Canadian still life, "Politely Railing a Virgin From a Safe Distance!" See also, The Juices of My Labour.

When you throw Canada's History against the wall, you're lucky if you get hit with a lawsuit!

by Jimmy Kicks February 5, 2010

Canada's History

When you fist your girl in the ass and fuck her in the ear 69 style, and you come so hard it shoots her eyes out. While this happens, you pull your hand out so that her built-up shits end up in your face.

"Yo dude did you get with that chick?"
"Yeah man, we studied some of canada's history"
"yikes, she's not winning that rifle shooting meet tomorrow"
"fuck that, dude, my face stinks."

by GerryWithAG February 4, 2010

Canada's History

A sexual game involving two or more people, where the parties involved mutually insert pieces of hockey equipment into the anal cavity. The game is played on a point system, where different pieces of equipment are worth different points. For example, a puck is worth 5 points and a hockey stick is worth 3 points for every inch that the receiving partner can insert into the anal cavity. If any participant is able to insert an entire goalie mask into the cavity, that person is automatically declared the winner.

Notes:
Personal lubricant is allowed for this game, as long as all partners are using equal amounts, and as long as the lubricant is maple syrup.

In Canada, the game is usually played with music from the band Rush and taped skits from the show SCTV playing in the background.

Tom was complaining of soreness after a long night of playing "Canada's History."

by NothingAsItSeems February 5, 2010

Canada's History

One of the forbidden sexual practices of the world, where the woman spreads maple syrup over her male partner, puts a ball gown and stockings on his sticky body and begins pegging him with a moose antler that's partially inserted into her vagina while singing 'Oh Canada' and burying his face into a Stanley cup full of cum and urine using her left foot.

I yearn to teach you about Canada's History, honey

by Nuclearo March 1, 2010

Canada's History

When a man forces his girlfriend or spouse to dress up like his sister and then does her in the booty.

You are severely mistaken if you think I am taking part in Canada's History, with you.

by UncleMom February 5, 2010

Canada's History

When you perform a Boston Pancake, wrap the pancake around a sexual toy, freeze it, then insert it into a relative's sexual orifice. You must create a drilling motion with the toy and you must wear a Bigfoot suit.

Steve - "Wow did you see that Canada's History John gave to Mom yesterday?"

Jill - "Yea, I did! You know, I wanted to be her first, dang!"

by CRich_ February 4, 2010