Premature Acceleration

The act of mashing the gas pedal as soon as you see the left turn arrow turn green in your periferal vision, even though you are in the straight lane, causing a moment of embarassment as no fewer than 8 people think less of you as a man

little timmy started to make his left turn, when a man almost ran into him head on after a premature acceleration

by conbon575 June 22, 2010

Premature Abortion

Premature Abortion is unique in the sense that only a man can have one. Premature Abortion happens when a sperm, or many sperm, fail to unionize with a human egg inside a female. This often happens when a female is not present. In most cases, a premature abortion ends up in some sort of Kleenex and gets throw into a garbage receptacle. Commonly, a premature abortion will get washed down the shower drain or disposed of orally by a willing participant. Premature abortions can happen just about anywhere and get aborted on just about any surface imaginable. They can even happen involuntarily while you sleep. There has been research on these nocturnal abortions, but they are still in the preliminary stages.

Douche bag #1 - "I know this chick that will let you have a premature abortion right on her face!"
Douche bag #2 - "Shit! The only action I get is when I have a nocturnal abortion and have to change my underwear upon waking up."

by SmokeTwibz January 23, 2018

Premature Recaffeination

A condition in which a person fills their coffee cup from a pot which is still in the process of brewing, thereby causing the remainder of the coffee to become too weak for human consumption.

"Hey you want some coffee?"

"Nah, Chris has been doing some premature recaffeination from it."

by Moops June 15, 2012

premature ecraftulation

When you are way too excited about a new project and start without fully understanding the process and the excitement makes you basically blow your load all over it and really screw it up.

I experienced premature ecraftulation all over that project I was doing and ruined $50 worth of supplies.

by Jennbec1 June 17, 2017

Premature mickulation

When you jump the gun and try to act the hero. Seeing an opportunity to get some praise without realising what's going on.

That guy thought he was saving the day because he has been going to the gym but turns out nobody needed saving. Sounds like he suffered premature mickulation

by Crazysteve April 9, 2017

Premature Edeathulation

To cause death before the ideal moment. Like premature ejaculation, but with murder.

Guy: "man, you shoulda waited till he finished digging his grave before killing him! Now we gotta finish it ourselves"
Other guy: "I know man, I just got so excited I killed him too soon"
Guy: "premature edeathulation"

by PreownedQuasar October 13, 2019

Premature Textjaculation

Sending a text before typing anything into the message due to distraction, excitement, dangerous texting speeds, or a faulty phone.

"My boyfriend has premature textjaculation"
"What do you mean?"
"Every time we're getting real edgy he sends off texts with nothing in them."

by Roflcopter321 April 17, 2010