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tying your own noose

Knowing beforehand that whatever you're about to proceed into is doomed.
20 pounds of uncut Peruvian flake (cocaine) taped to his thighs?!? Didn't anyone clue that doofusin? That's like tying your own noose if you think youre gonna make it by the coppers through customs.

"I LL show him! " she storms out of the secret cubby hole exploding towards the bedroom door.

The Black Widow turns to her prospective new mate, while munching on her husbands head.

"That crazy leggy broad is tying her own noose, if she thinks she can untangle that love connection."
by Bags Bradley January 29, 2018
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See abuse? Don’t Grab the Noose

This means if you spot an animal being neglected not to call the police or animal control and to call a local rescue instead. This is because police and animal control are known to not do anything about cases they don’t see as serious.
“That persons hit their dog, we should call animal control.”
“No, we should call a rescue instead. Remember, see abuse? Don’t grab the noose.”
by Thecommonblackbird August 22, 2020
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noosed

i suicidal or stupid action......
sumthin lame or mean
'he noosed himself over that cookie incident'
' mum noosed me for being out'
i got noosed for crying while my stepdad violated me'
by Ratz December 30, 2005
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Clock-Noose

When a person, usually your spouse or in-law, tries to pin you down to a certain time even though they know certain aspects are out of your control and they are pretty aware you will be not arriving when they want you to.

After the question is posed in several ways, the offender usually succumbs and blurts out a time they know will make the spouse happy but is totally implausible, thus hanging themselves based on the time they were coerced into stating.
Wife: So what time will you be home tonight?
Husband: I am not sure because of this 5pm meeting today and the usual traffic.
Wife: Usually you are home at 5:45, so maybe you will be here like 5:50?
Husband: When I get home at 5:45 I do not have 5pm meetings on those days so it is hard to say
Wife: How long is your meeting?
Husband: I'm not running it so I am not sure
Wife: Traffic shouldn't be too bad since it's friday so you can probably get here by 6pm I would think, don't you?
Husband: yeah sure 6pm

The husband was effectively put in a clock-noose
by Thejuice April 9, 2013
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Elephant Noose

a man with a large enough schlong to choke an elephant, a baby elephant, but an elephant none the less.
"why is that girl in a wheelchair?"
"she had sex with elephant noose"
by timbo slice May 21, 2013
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hung by my own noose

When something backfires; when you forget a prank you did and it happens to you.
"Alas! I've been hung by my own noose!" Said Angle after she turned her sister's hairdryer on, forgetting she put flour in it previously and ended up looking like a fool.
by nerdettgirl May 10, 2014
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Hairy Noose

A term used to describe the effect on many unfortunate men of woman's greatest weapon. A weapon shamelessly wielded by a certain type of woman, effectively more often than not, to wickedly get her own way and reduce men to pathetic approximations of what they once were. The first sign of it's effect is typically when a male goes missing from weekly boys nights, card games, fishing trips and the like. More serious effects may even extend to a woman gaining access to such things as a closed male only WhatsApp group with understandly disastrous consequences.
Conversation over a beer:

Dude 1: What's happened to Joe? Haven't seen him for donkeys.

Dude 2: the dopey cunts fucked. He's shacked up with some ranga scrag who's been riding him to within an inch of his life. He's had a lengthy dry spell up to now so you can't blame him for dipping the wick but she's mad as a cut snake and won't let the poor fucker take so much as a piss without written permission. He'll wise up soon enough once he gets a decent look at her melon in the sunlight but for now he's well and truly caught in the hairy noose. I'd give him a month and we'll see him back. He loves the suds.
by SqueezyKneezy April 17, 2019
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