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the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

1: A book.

Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one- more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty-Three More Things to Do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philospophical blockbusters, Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes, and Who Is This God Person Anyway?

In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitchhiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galatica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryhal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

First, it is slightly cheaper; and second, it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.

2: Also a book, written by Douglas Adams, which centers on the book that the book takes its name from. Not to say that the book deals entirely with the book, but that the book is, in the book, a central part. Of the book, that is.
by Vee Are Are Schee March 28, 2004
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Guido Pubes

Well trimmed male genital area, similar to Puerto Rican Pubes
After her date with Tony, Maria was thankful he had Guido Pubes because she hates hairy cock-n-balls.
by Gavin Rosdale March 6, 2010
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Content Guidelines

Content Guidelines can be defined as:

A The thing nobody reviews before making a definition
B a companies excuse to getting out of a bad situation
"But your honor, they didn't review the Content Guidelines!"
by Apple Byter February 21, 2020
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Guildford

Actually quite a good city. Has pretty much everything you need, and it's small enough to get to know your local chinese/chip shop guy. Plenty of things to do, and fun things too (gasp what a surprise). Don't believe what the other guy said about it, I've gotten far enough to afford broadband and a decent computer. And send my kids to private school. His definition is here Guilford. Really, you can't slag a place off if you can't spell it properly!
You wanna hit the clubs in Guildford?
Ahh, I went to the Guildford Spectrum the other day. Was good.
You know, Guildford is actually a city.
Zomg, that other guy spelt Guildford wrong.
by Charles Mann May 15, 2006
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Guidette

(n): The female counterpart to the "Guido" specimen. Exclusive to North America, these creatures are usually of Italian-American decsent. A Guidette can be recognized by her orange color, similar to that of the common tangerine, and their either very light or very dark hair. Guidettes have an overly sexual demeanor, and will often emit high pitch shreiks to attract mates. A creature of habit, the Guidette will spend an excessive amount of time on her appearance, and will usually prefer to don very light lipstick (often to referred to by experts as 'Semen Lipstick'), brands such as Ed Hardy, BeBe and Juicy Couture. Scientists believe they are very tolerant to chemical exposure, as Guidettes will use 3-4 cannisters of hairspray in one day alone.

Although reproduction has not been studied in this species, the Guidette will usually have anywhere from 100 to 200 sexual partners in her lifetime. However, some specimens were found to have exceeded these numbers by the age of thirty.

Common health problems reported in the species include, but are not limited to, alcoholism, venarial diseases (Most often strains of hepititis and herpes), sagging and wrinkled skin with a leathery texture and brain death.

(Sources:

The U.S. Wildlife and Game Adminstration
The U.S. Center for Disease Control)
I think I will go to the Zoo today, The Guidette exhibit just opened.
by MArie8773 January 2, 2010
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Gilded Turd

To spend money to "improve" or "pimp out" a worthless item such as a crappy car, dump of a house, or other such item. Usually done by spending more to upgrade an item than was paid for it but still not actually increasing the value of the item with these upgrades.
After Sam spent $1900 to pimp out his $300 rusted out, beat up, 1982 Celebrity all he got for his trouble was a gilded turd and credit card debt.

"My sister is a moron."
"Why's that?"
"She bought a $30,000 burnt out house in the worst part of town and spent $100,000 making it livable. Now she can't sell it because everyone who could afford it doesn't want to live anywhere near that part of town."
"Sounds like she's got a gilded turd on her hands."
by Brett Burkhardt May 12, 2008
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Jeremiah Van Guilder

Musician, founder of maleminded, and tumblr champ. Got dumped by a crazy chick who wanted to "have fun" in college, but is not interested in any of his silly tumblr fangirls. Occasionally offensive but no more offensive than the smell of your snatch. Probably a freak in bed, but you'll never know, and that's why many tumblr-ettes cry themselves to sleep every night. King of entertaining GIFs and would go gay for Brad Pitt. Get some.
Every female on tumblr: "Jeremiah Van Guilder? Oops, panty splash!"
by visual-inspiration@tumblr October 11, 2011
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