A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:
I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.
II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.
III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.
IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.
V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.
VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.
VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.
X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.
Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.
II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.
III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.
IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.
V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.
VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.
VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.
X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.
Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
by eyelidlash July 20, 2021
Get the simp contractmug. by Marcos_440 April 12, 2020
Get the Ex Simpmug. boy: 'hannah you are so beautiful, i'll do anything for you'
girl: 'fuck me fred, you're such a ginger simp, get some suncream on that sunburn!'
girl: 'fuck me fred, you're such a ginger simp, get some suncream on that sunburn!'
by samlovesagingeminge May 28, 2020
Get the ginger simpmug. by UncleBarry April 12, 2021
Get the dick simpmug. Rio is the worlds biggest coffee simp. Luckily, she knows how to turn it on first thing every morning to get the day started off right.
by Handy_manny69 December 23, 2020
Get the Coffee Simpmug. by Dekashi March 16, 2021
Get the Like Simpingmug. Idiots who think simping is complementing someones body or asking people to stop doing something to protect their friend. The actual meaning ”A man who foolishly overvalues a woman and puts her on a pedestal.” No one put themselves to those limits.
*Megnut02 about*
Someone: It's all fun and games until she harms herself
Another person: ”Ok simpy wimpy”
Multiple people: ”Simp”
Others: ”Simp Misuser”
”Thanks for the cake Ms. Addison”
”Simp”
Me: ”They’re getting cake for a nut, the complete opposite of simping. Dumbass Simp Misusers”
Someone: It's all fun and games until she harms herself
Another person: ”Ok simpy wimpy”
Multiple people: ”Simp”
Others: ”Simp Misuser”
”Thanks for the cake Ms. Addison”
”Simp”
Me: ”They’re getting cake for a nut, the complete opposite of simping. Dumbass Simp Misusers”
by Suduisjdjsjdkdjisanibba April 6, 2020
Get the Simp Misusermug.