Santa

The man born of a satanic ritual to haunt adults and please children. First off to start the madness of this "creature", he is insanely fat and doesn't have diabetes. Second, he gets stuck in chimney's bigger than him. Last, he sneaks into your house, knows when you sleeping and awake, so he basically knows everything about every human in the history of the world.

Santa: *gets summoned out of pentagram* time to "investigate the humans

Little child: I PROMISE TO BE GOOD THIS YEAR SO I CAN GET A SINGULAR HOTWEEL

Parents: he wishes Santa was real.

Santa: *breaks window and lands on floor*

Obnoxiously Loud Child: YOUR REAL???? GIVE ME EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST, NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Santa: I am going home now. *gives child a string and some shotgun shells*

Child: BEST. GIFT. EVER!!!

by Sir.Person July 18, 2020

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Get the Santamug.

Santa Claustrophobia

Adj. a: a general or irrational fear of Santa Claus. b: A fear of enclosed shopping spaces during the holidays.

Timmy was unable to sit on Santa's lap in the mall because he suffered from Santa Claustrophobia.

Timmy's mother was unable to make it through Black Friday without a panic attack because she suffered from Santa Claustrophobia.

by Mothmaker December 5, 2012

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Get the Santa Claustrophobiamug.

Chinese Santa Claus

When you test positive for COVID-19, so you wait until nighttime and go house to house, sneezing into everyone's air conditioners. Despite the name, this is most effective in the summertime.

Looks like I caught the rona, time to pull a Chinese Santa Claus!

by lerogers7 December 9, 2020

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Get the Chinese Santa Clausmug.

SANTA

TheBadgerCat

Thebadgercat = Santa

by MrMagmaYT January 29, 2022

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Get the SANTAmug.

'Zat You, Santa Claus?

A song by Louis Armstrong

'Zat You, Santa Claus?
Sure is dark out, ain't the slightest spark out
'Pon my slackened jaw!
Who's there? Who is it stopping for a visit?
'Zat You, Santa Claus?

by SPrice1980 May 7, 2023

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