MORNING WOOD

The primary reason for showering toilet seats and bathroom floors just after waking up from a nightmare about exploding in a sewage treatment plant and never being able to have sex again. Three times in twenty years of marriage wasn't enough.

Marsha; I'm so sick of cleaning the bathroom after you, damn it!
John; It's not my fault I keep telling you, it's the morning wood!

Marsha; Right, dead eye! I'd give you a mop but you'll probably wipe the den. I wish you morning wouldn't!

by Martha Stewbird May 10, 2011

Tiger Woods

Verb: To take a pee while sporting a hard on.

Derived from the act of evenly spreading ones feet and leaning forward to ensure accuracy and power.

Also, name references to the condition commonly known as morning wood.

Holy crap, this morning I woke up with such a rager, that I had to pull a Tiger Woods in order to keep from hitting the wall!

by Curousgeorge January 19, 2009

tiger woods

penial erection of the large carnivorous feline mammal (Panthera tigris)

that hot chick sure have my tiger woods standing

by maetel June 8, 2003

lay the wood

1) When the boner pops out of the pants, often emphasised with a "WONK!"
2) arm gesture mimicking def. 1, usually on a table

1) He just laid the wood on her last night
2) Snoop Dogg laid the wood at lunch, just to piss off the lunch ladies.

by CanUHearMeNow408 May 1, 2003

Tiger Woods

the one cool black kid at chs, who amazingly resembles tiger woods

you guys seen Tiger around the halls of CHS? damn, its must've been an optikal illusion!

by sunnabitch February 15, 2005

Natalie Wood

An actress who died by drowning.

What's the only kind of wood that can't float?
Natalie Wood!

by Manuela66 December 23, 2008

knock on wood

to take one's hand (which is in the shape of a fist..) and bang it on a dead tree.

crogi: "ouch! i hurt my hand knocking on that wood. it looks like i'm bleeding"
bob: "want a cool glow in the dark harry potter band aid??"
crogi: "SA-WEET!"

by kazoomafoo June 20, 2005