Green Douche

A random player, i.e. a non-party member, in a game of Call of Duty.

By definition, a green douche is a medically handicapped homosexual who has severe brain damage caused by the utmost caliber of mental retardation. He cannot go 3 seconds without stuffing a cock in his mouth.

It should be noted that green douches experience a severe reaction of a rush of blood towards their genitalia upon acquiring an M203 Grenade Launcher, Energy Sword, or Sniper Rifle.

Several severe AI bug is affecting all green douches:

Upon being killed by an enemy, they are known to keep attempting a frontal assault at the enemy's last known location until the game is over or the enemy runs out of ammo. While this is most likely due to the brain damage, their AI claims this is due to "hacks" and insists the killer is also homosexual.

Another AI bug occurs when a friendly calls in a Care Package. This crashes the green douche's combat function and moves them from their position, A, to drop-location B, linearly. Green douches will walk through front lines, minefields, sentry guns, or even into bottomless pits in line segment AB to steal the friendly package.

A global AI bug occurs universally in games among green douches of any game when there is any item labeled a "sniper rifle.” Green douches will equip, team-kill, or rage quit a game until they get a sniper rifle. It is not uncommon for a herd of the entire team except you to thus be camping.
That green douche has a boner of revenge, he keeps running into the sentry gun to kill the guy that knifed him. That guy now must have all his killstreaks.

The green douche just jumped off the map to steal my care package which was shot down off the map. That was the third time he jumped to his death now.

Why is the game lagging? Oh, there's a green douche on our team from Uzbekistan who has 1 red bar. He's 0 for 100 and trying to snipe with a silenced auto shotgun.

Hang on, I just received a message. It was from someone in the last game on our team. I can't understand him though, it sounded like he was gurgling sperm and I think he was trying to ask me out but I'm not interested in homosexual relationships like he is.
by Sniper McSnipadin December 04, 2012
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douche hoagie

pretty much the same thing as a douche bag... you really want to avoid the douche hoagies around the world. They are an unfavorable person therefore being called a douche hoagie is never a good thing.

the term can also be and preferably be shortened to the term "hoagie." calling someone a hoagie is fun and replaces other politically incorrect terms like fag, homo, retard, nigger, bitch, etc.
The guy over in the corner at the John Mayer concert standing alone with a lighter in the air is a real douche hoagie.

The girl that always feels the need to tell me how things are going with her ex boyfriend is a real hoagie.
by T.J. Bossington December 16, 2010
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Jersey douche

The act of sweaty-crotched female New Yorkers walking over a subway grate as the train goes by, generating a waft of air up their dress/skirt/shorts that temporarily cools off their crotch.
I smell like a bad tuna sandwich - walk with me over to Canal street so I can grab a quick Jersey douche before the party.
by Fuckchop McGee August 03, 2011
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douche rack

definition for....i.e,....a group of 2 or more douches/assholes, or pricks
dude1: hey dude...check out those posers over there.
dude2: yeah i saw....pffft..what a douche rack
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Douche Bag

One who acts like a asshole and is well awere of it, but feels a false sence of self-justifacation in it due to there delusions of self rightiosness. Bassicly, elietist bastards who flaunt there apperent status, when the status is an example of total bullshit.

When confronted on this they will often point out some trivial flaw in you that dosent matter, changing the subgect.
Anyone who corrects spelling as a form of burn is a total douche bag.
by lagazi June 10, 2007
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Douche Bag

This controversial term dates back to Richard Brome's 1588 comedy 'the Court of Malcontents'

In Act I Scene II, the following takes place:

Don Benedicto: Aha! and from whence hast this bough sprung?
Don Matheus: From the douche, no doubt!
Don Benedicto: The douche. The douche. Ye Gods man!
Tell me from whence hast the douche come ye can
Don Matheus: The douche is borne from yonder douche-bag.
Don Benedicto: Your humour does not humour me, sir. Begone or taste my steel.
Don Matheus: Thou steel be brittle, sir.

This pun is lost on most modern audiences, but in the play leads to Don Matheus and Don Benedicto fighting a duel (during the Edwardian period the word 'steel' would be pronounced very similarly to the word 'still', which then was used to refer to the way in which a mother holds her child. Don Matheus is implying that Don Benedicto's mother was incompetant. Indeed, he even goes as far as to suggest that Don Benedicto was dropped on his head at an early age, insulting both Don Benedicto's honour and intelligence).

'Douche' was a form of the old english word 'Douaché' meaning 'I sow'. It came to mean the seeds which farmers used to grow orchards (often apple orchards particularly). A douche-bag was a sack slung over one shoulder used to carry the 'douche' during sowing.

After this play, douche-bag eventually came to be associated with simpletons or fools (as it is the 'final straw' as it were of Don Matheus' ridicule which causes Don Benedicto to initiate a duel, which he eventually flees from - losing all face and honour as a gentleman).

This Elizabethan insult has in recent years resurfaced, particularly in the Americas, and has rapidly spread across the rest of the world thanks to recent innovations in communication technology.
Don Byrne: Thou is naught but a lowly douche bag.
Don Sampson: I think not sir!
by Professor Aston April 17, 2007
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Douche McFagqueer

A sentient being who is a stupid homosexual. (proper noun)
That Douche McFagqueer we saw at Taco Bell is my biological father.

That group of children over there are a bunch of Douche McFagqueer's, except for that little girl on the end, I made sweet love to her in many positions, mostly derived from the middle-eastern countries.
by My name is of no concern October 08, 2005
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