DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
Get the ASS-CO (asymptomatic covid)mug. Chronicling the transformations of the world, from its creation to its breakdown, due to the coronavirus and the self-deification a Julius Caesar wannabe, Covid's Metamorphoses will be read in the 22nd Century as a charming fable of humanity as it once was.
by Monkey's Dad October 7, 2020
Get the Covid's Metamorphosesmug. by say no to covid September 27, 2021
Get the Covidmug. The bullshit idea that it's Trump's fault for COVID, not only ignoring the fact that recently the CDC discovered that only 6% of counted COVID deaths were actually COVID deaths, but the fact that it was due to the fact that many governors did things that Trump had no control over, such as the fact that Governor Cuomo sent old people to die in state nursing homes, deaths which helped cover up, while attacking Trump, and furthermore, Trump signed the largest stimulus bill in US history to help, oh and there's also the fact that overall, Trump had no effect on the decision of the state governments, considering that the US has a federal system where the states can decide for themselves what policies to have, so even Trump putting out guidelines still didn't mean that all governors had to follow them. Overall, everything is mainly reliant on the states.
Leftist dumbass: Trump caused Covid Haha Cuomo is such a good boy he should run for president he cares about covid and climate change and he stands up to Trump
Anyone with any IQ over room temperature: Did you know that Cuomo sent old people to die in New York nursing homes and also the fact that he helped cover up deaths afterwards? Oh and consider the fact that he shut down 2 reactors at the clean and powerful Indian point Nuclear power plant, as a result of which reliance on carbon dioxide emitting natural gas increased.
Leftist dumbass: (AOL noises) Orange man bad! He is literally *Insert average movie dictator* and we are *Insert generic hollywood rebel* !
Anyone with any IQ over room temperature: Did you know that Cuomo sent old people to die in New York nursing homes and also the fact that he helped cover up deaths afterwards? Oh and consider the fact that he shut down 2 reactors at the clean and powerful Indian point Nuclear power plant, as a result of which reliance on carbon dioxide emitting natural gas increased.
Leftist dumbass: (AOL noises) Orange man bad! He is literally *Insert average movie dictator* and we are *Insert generic hollywood rebel* !
by Gaylordgangster69 September 16, 2020
Get the Trump caused Covidmug. by Mikey Butts April 12, 2021
Get the covid couplemug. When smoking opens up the arteries, which could allegedly help to better fight the viruses in the body, with tobacco companies excited to fund any research that shows that nicotine in controlled amounts is a potential cure to the coronavirus.
Chain smokers are thrilled to hear that Covid-🚬 is their friend rather than their foe in fighting Covid-19.
by Covido December 25, 2020
Get the Covid-🚬mug. the conditions/injuries experienced by bats in the cave they share with coronaviruses (located in 2013 by Wuhan virologists).
The coronaviruses were only indirectly the distal cause of the bats' injuries - the direct proximate cause was the swabs collected by anal probe.
In 2018 the virologists confirmed they'd located the origin of the coronavirus responsible for the '03 SARS outbreak. The Wuhan virologists warned the entire world in 2018.
The coronaviruses were only indirectly the distal cause of the bats' injuries - the direct proximate cause was the swabs collected by anal probe.
In 2018 the virologists confirmed they'd located the origin of the coronavirus responsible for the '03 SARS outbreak. The Wuhan virologists warned the entire world in 2018.
Covid-👽 only occurs in anal probed bats, in the Yunnan cave.
Deep inside where the bats nest, the cave's climate never changes.
Always cool and dry - so the virus' buttery bilipid envelope protecting it remains stable and firm and safe just in case you you wondered why Epstein didn't kill himself. The 'rona is a massively robust, ever-quasi-evolving viral population.
Deep inside where the bats nest, the cave's climate never changes.
Always cool and dry - so the virus' buttery bilipid envelope protecting it remains stable and firm and safe just in case you you wondered why Epstein didn't kill himself. The 'rona is a massively robust, ever-quasi-evolving viral population.
by nottherealCharlesLieber April 9, 2021
Get the Covid-👽mug.