Turtle Shuffle

When you have a shit trying to poke out of your anus and you are trying to shuffle slowly to the crapper before it comes completely out.

Dude I had to crap so bad I was doing the turtle shuffle to the bathroom.

by Maple Backwoods September 14, 2011

Turtle Shit

The fucking coolest shit ever. Like bro. Don’t even.

“Hey Veronica, I just wanted to tell you that I think I love you. You’re the smartest, kindest, most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I know we’ve only been on a few dates, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Yo that’s total Turtle Shit bro! I fucking love you.”

by finnsatch February 16, 2023

Turtle press

A turtle press is when you scoop your poop out of the toilet and shove your feces in your anus as hard as you can. Ideally for missing out on any nutrients such as protein or vitamins. Much like a turtle going back into its shell. But your anus is the shell and your turds are the turtle

Dude did you hear Jimmy doing a turtle press last night?

by Pizzafart33 May 12, 2023

Turtle press

A turtle press is when you grab a turd out of the toilet. It can be yours or a strangers, and shove it back into your anus in case you missed any nutrients such as protein or vitamins. Thus your anus being the turtle shell and the poop being the turtle

Dude did you hear Frank doing a turtle press last night?

by Pizzafart33 May 12, 2023

Turtle Sink

The act of a student who needs to shit so bad, and all the stalls are locked, so they shit in the sink, and cram it down the drain.

Student1: Hey your back early did you make it on time.
Turtle Sinker: Nah, I had to Turtle Sink it.

by Thelasthayoullsee July 20, 2023

Turtle Breath

The little puff of air you do just before you poo.

I didn't get a chance to go, I only just did a turtle breath before I had to run out of the toilet.

by MrFantastic August 13, 2023

Stale Turtle

A stale turtle is when your having a shit and you accidently chop the end off and its goes back up never to be seen again rotting inside you

I had a shit last night and ended up having a stale turtle it was very disappointing.

by StaleTurtle August 17, 2023