Digital Speed

The speed at which things happen on the internet.

Also, the speed of your multitasking abilities on the computer.

To do more than one thing at a digital pace as opposed to the analog time at which real life happens.

EX1:

Person1: Dude!I contacted you like 5 seconds ago.WTF?I thought you had died!!

Person2: Sorry man, I was away for 10 seconds.

Person1: Damn, digital speed can really mess with your head.

EX2:

PersonA: Wow!You got back to me really fast.

PersonB: I'm always online so I get everything at a digital speed.

PersonA: Wow.So I must be on analog time them.

PersonB: Yep!Get with the times.

EX3:

Person1: Yo!Did you hear about that new sextape that's going around?

PersonB: Man, that was like 2 seconds ago.Everyone's talking about the sneezing panda.

Person1: Whoa!My digital speed must be lagging then.It's that goddamn wifi connection!

PersonB: Sucks for you.

by DamianTempest June 14, 2010

No speed

1. When someone epicly fails at something. Based on the "go fast" idealogy developed by the legendary philosopher, Ricky Bobby.

Dave: hey guys, watch me jump off the roof into that pool
Guys: Do it; You wont.
(jumps)
Dave: SHIT!!! MY LEGS!!!
Guys: Haha wow dave, NOOOO speed

by Veryfastman June 19, 2010

Felony Speed

Exceeding the posted speed limit by such a large margin that if clocked by the authorities, your "Speeding Ticket," involves a Bailbondsman, a lawyer and an impound fee. Exceptions include: A pregnant woman giving birth and any wound requiring more than 12 stitches to either yourself or a passenger (Both are valid only when enroute to a hospital).

Felony Speed." ex: Driving 116mph in a 65mph zone and getting clocked on radar by police. Double points on your license if it was in a construction zone. You can't talk your way out of a ticket if the officer has his gun drawn and is performing a "Felony Stop."

by Sky_Pirate7222 November 30, 2010

Kony-Speed

The speed at which a video spreads on the internet, a scale to measure how viral something is by using the Kony 2012 video as a basis.

"That announcement of Anchorman 2 is at 1.5 times Kony-Speed"

"The home movie of you and your friend singing Spice Girls in your basement is at -200 Kony-Speed"

by Lenny Laserdisc August 17, 2012

post-speech amnesia

When just after you gave a speech in public, you can't remember how you did or exactly what you said or how long you were talking.

"Dude, i have post-speech amnesia. Can you like record my speech for me so I can watch it afterwards and see how good I was?"

"Sure dude, I hate having post-speech amnesia. That ish sucks."

by collegekid4yourinfo March 12, 2013

Machete speech

When your girlfriend's dad (or your dad, if you are the girlfriend) takes the boyfriend aside and gives him a good talking to. Usually includes a lot of posturing on the father's part, because he'll be trying to give the boyfriend a scare to convince him to treat the daughter well. In some cases can include sharpening a knife or polishing/cleaning a gun for a threat. Most often includes do's and don't's, but usually just don't's.

Person A: Aw man. When we got back to her place, her old man was waiting to give me the machete speech.
Person B: That's rough, dude.

by NecroBite.EXE August 16, 2015

verbal speed bump

An item that many people need to slow the random stuff that comes spilling out of their mouth, giving them time to consider if it really should be said at all.

Joe's lack of a verbal speed bump has cost him many friends.

by flufferbot June 2, 2016