Someone who dresses in hip clothes and goes undercover to college parties, concerts, stoner smoke sesssions and bars to tell you how
totally radical, relatable, and real Jesus is with their modern psuedo-hip spin on the religion. "Christianity is not a religion bro, it's totally a
rebellious way of life bro, it's totally gnar!"
They are there to fill their conversion quota for the month and aren't there to party. They have been known to be good looking people,
only the few are chosen for these missions, skilled rappers and dance moves like no other so as to draw in an audience wherein they can discuss the good book with the heathens. It can be hard to recognize them; but if you find yourself talking to one very sexy hipster chick at a party named sunshine(or some shit like that) with a booty like two apples rubbing against each other under yoga pants and light green eyes under glasses, who starts asking if you've heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..well then you might have found a commercial christian. She has no intentions of bumping uglies with you. The only guy she's interested in, is Jesus, she will break your tiny heathen heart into little ungodly pieces.
The best way to detect a commercial christian is to offer them alcohol and drugs. Most will be instructed by their church/boss to refuse such things. If they accept it, get them shitfaced. Be cautious, theyre persuasive and have trained long and hard to use Jedi-Jesus mind tricks on your brain.
totally radical, relatable, and real Jesus is with their modern psuedo-hip spin on the religion. "Christianity is not a religion bro, it's totally a
rebellious way of life bro, it's totally gnar!"
They are there to fill their conversion quota for the month and aren't there to party. They have been known to be good looking people,
only the few are chosen for these missions, skilled rappers and dance moves like no other so as to draw in an audience wherein they can discuss the good book with the heathens. It can be hard to recognize them; but if you find yourself talking to one very sexy hipster chick at a party named sunshine(or some shit like that) with a booty like two apples rubbing against each other under yoga pants and light green eyes under glasses, who starts asking if you've heard about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..well then you might have found a commercial christian. She has no intentions of bumping uglies with you. The only guy she's interested in, is Jesus, she will break your tiny heathen heart into little ungodly pieces.
The best way to detect a commercial christian is to offer them alcohol and drugs. Most will be instructed by their church/boss to refuse such things. If they accept it, get them shitfaced. Be cautious, theyre persuasive and have trained long and hard to use Jedi-Jesus mind tricks on your brain.
dude 1:Hey brohan! Who was that dude you were talkin to? I wish I had fashion sense like him, straight outta GQ bro.
dude 2: Oh just some commercial christian, we took shots and he told me dinosaurs weren't real.
dude 3: Sup guys.. I just met this bomb ass chick named rainbow, I think if I go christian I might have a chance
dude 2: Oh just some commercial christian, we took shots and he told me dinosaurs weren't real.
dude 3: Sup guys.. I just met this bomb ass chick named rainbow, I think if I go christian I might have a chance
by MyDanceMoovez10 January 2, 2014
Get the Commercial Christianmug. by dawgokid27 November 5, 2019
Get the Christian McCaffreymug. by Maggie EC O'neilll December 20, 2009
Get the EC Christianmug. 1. Contrary to popular belief, it was not the faith Jesus taught, but started by St. Augustine.
2. The most filthy form of Christianity. They believe that anyone who does not follow them is doomed to eternal hell.
3. People who can sure dish out insults against any other people who do not think like them, but God forbid if anyone says anything bad about their cult, they get all mad.
4. Hypocracy at its best. They dont treat other kindly, but take time to make sure they follow the rules their church sets out.
5. People who cannot be reasoned with. Not only that, but their reasoning is really messed up.
6. Make bible matters more complicated by their church regulated theology.
2. The most filthy form of Christianity. They believe that anyone who does not follow them is doomed to eternal hell.
3. People who can sure dish out insults against any other people who do not think like them, but God forbid if anyone says anything bad about their cult, they get all mad.
4. Hypocracy at its best. They dont treat other kindly, but take time to make sure they follow the rules their church sets out.
5. People who cannot be reasoned with. Not only that, but their reasoning is really messed up.
6. Make bible matters more complicated by their church regulated theology.
Traditionalist Christianity
On Yahoo Answers, some bitch got all nasty with someone about having trouble accepting some Church belief that Animals not going to heaven, but then at the same time started freaking about how to properly dispose of some palms.
On Youtube, the Christian Universalist theologian L. Ray Smith exposes Bill Weises book "23 minutes in hell", and does a good job at exposing all the flaws. However some fundies go off commenting the video calling him arrogant. Really, the only thing arrogant I see is those fundies believe that anyone who does not believe as them is going to hell.
They fight about some of the stupidest stuff. There are people in the street starving, animals and children being abused, rainforests being destroyed, and serial killers on the loose, and they are fighting over stupid shit, like woman not being housewives, gays having relationships, teaching evolution at schools, rock and roll and lack of TV censorship. F them, they know nothing.
On Yahoo Answers, some bitch got all nasty with someone about having trouble accepting some Church belief that Animals not going to heaven, but then at the same time started freaking about how to properly dispose of some palms.
On Youtube, the Christian Universalist theologian L. Ray Smith exposes Bill Weises book "23 minutes in hell", and does a good job at exposing all the flaws. However some fundies go off commenting the video calling him arrogant. Really, the only thing arrogant I see is those fundies believe that anyone who does not believe as them is going to hell.
They fight about some of the stupidest stuff. There are people in the street starving, animals and children being abused, rainforests being destroyed, and serial killers on the loose, and they are fighting over stupid shit, like woman not being housewives, gays having relationships, teaching evolution at schools, rock and roll and lack of TV censorship. F them, they know nothing.
by Jerry1341 May 16, 2010
Get the Traditionalist Christianitymug. A cheap form of music where people try their hardest to sound like the rock band Creed using lyrics that reference the Christian religion and fail epically!
by TomBosley January 29, 2009
Get the Christian Rockmug. When a girl wants to retain her virginity (vaginal), yet still wants to engage in a sex act similar to vaginal sex (anal). Therefore losing her anal virginity, but not vaginal virginity in the process.
Yeah, my girlfriend Ashley had her Christian virginity for two years because she believed in a Christian myth about pregnancy. When she went to college she gave the real thing up to this loser who told her he was a fellow believer.
by Good boy April 27, 2006
Get the christian virginitymug. Over 2000 branch churches and Reading Rooms in 74 countries. Services conducted in 18 languages.
Mary Baker Eddy (1821-1910) pioneered new ideas about spirituality and health. Inspired by her own experience of healing in 1866, Eddy spent years in Bible study, prayer, and research into various healing methods. The result was a system of healing she dubbed Christian Science in 1879. Her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, broke new ground in the understanding of the mind-body-spirit connection. She went on to found a college, a church, a publishing enterprise, and the respected newspaper, The Christian Science Monitor.
The faith teaches that God, Father-Mother of all, is completely good and wholly spiritual, and that all God's creation, including the true nature of every person, is the flawless, spiritual likeness of the Divine. Since God’s creation is good, evils such as disease, death, and sin cannot be a part of fundamental reality. Rather, these evils are the result of living apart from God. Prayer is a central way to come closer to God and heal human ills.
Christian Science teaches that these and other spiritual facts undergirded Jesus' healing work--and form the basis on which others can heal physical and spiritual problems today. Jesus’ ministry is their paradigm for healing and demonstrates the centrality of healing to salvation. Christian Scientists pray to realize more of the reality of God and God's love daily, and to experience and help others experience the harmonizing, healing effect of this understanding.
For most Christian Scientists, spiritual healing is an effective first choice and, as a result, they turn to the power of prayer in lieu of medical treatment. Government authorities have occasionally challenged this approach, especially in certain circumstances where they have interpreted this as withholding medical treatment from minors. However, there is no church policy mandating members' health care decisions.
Christian Science has no ministers. Rather, the Bible and Science and Health act as pastor and preacher. Bible lessons are studied daily and read aloud on Sunday.
For more on the basic beliefs of Christian Science, see Tenets of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy's response to the question, "Have Christian Scientists any religious creed?"
The Bible (King James Version) and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.
Eddy made Boston the headquarters of the church in 1881. In 1892, the church was named The First Church of Christ, Scientist, or The Mother Church; local churches are considered branches. The Christian Science Board of Directors runs The Mother Church and local branches function on a democratic basis. The Mother Church and its branches operate under the guidance of the Manual of the Mother Church by Mary Baker Eddy.
Mary Baker Eddy (1821-1910) pioneered new ideas about spirituality and health. Inspired by her own experience of healing in 1866, Eddy spent years in Bible study, prayer, and research into various healing methods. The result was a system of healing she dubbed Christian Science in 1879. Her book, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, broke new ground in the understanding of the mind-body-spirit connection. She went on to found a college, a church, a publishing enterprise, and the respected newspaper, The Christian Science Monitor.
The faith teaches that God, Father-Mother of all, is completely good and wholly spiritual, and that all God's creation, including the true nature of every person, is the flawless, spiritual likeness of the Divine. Since God’s creation is good, evils such as disease, death, and sin cannot be a part of fundamental reality. Rather, these evils are the result of living apart from God. Prayer is a central way to come closer to God and heal human ills.
Christian Science teaches that these and other spiritual facts undergirded Jesus' healing work--and form the basis on which others can heal physical and spiritual problems today. Jesus’ ministry is their paradigm for healing and demonstrates the centrality of healing to salvation. Christian Scientists pray to realize more of the reality of God and God's love daily, and to experience and help others experience the harmonizing, healing effect of this understanding.
For most Christian Scientists, spiritual healing is an effective first choice and, as a result, they turn to the power of prayer in lieu of medical treatment. Government authorities have occasionally challenged this approach, especially in certain circumstances where they have interpreted this as withholding medical treatment from minors. However, there is no church policy mandating members' health care decisions.
Christian Science has no ministers. Rather, the Bible and Science and Health act as pastor and preacher. Bible lessons are studied daily and read aloud on Sunday.
For more on the basic beliefs of Christian Science, see Tenets of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy's response to the question, "Have Christian Scientists any religious creed?"
The Bible (King James Version) and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures.
Eddy made Boston the headquarters of the church in 1881. In 1892, the church was named The First Church of Christ, Scientist, or The Mother Church; local churches are considered branches. The Christian Science Board of Directors runs The Mother Church and local branches function on a democratic basis. The Mother Church and its branches operate under the guidance of the Manual of the Mother Church by Mary Baker Eddy.
(BTNH)Ehy ctonn what the fuck is christian science hey i used and oxymoron (CTONN) well u c its a bunch of fuks that think they can heal u using spiritual powers (BTNH) oh like that fuker from the christian channel what was that kum quats name (CTONN) oh u mean benny hinn i want to fuk that nigger up (BTNH) why did he talk bout yo mamma (CTONN) NO he is a giant fraud he doesnt heal u his suits cost like $5000 each and he lives in like 8 houses with like 48 cars he just used those christian ppl to get rich (BTNH) WHO hasent used them to get rich there soo damn easy just pretend ure like tiny tim during christmass and walk around with a limp anyways where is he now (CTONN) Probably in jail gettin a human booster shot from some guy named BUBBA
by BTNH February 5, 2005
Get the Christian sciencemug.