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Thick as a donkey's cock 

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Descriptive of someone who is particularly, mentally challenged.
There's no point in asking George W, he's as thick as a donkey's cock
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Related Words
as/s • as shit • as seen on TV • as sin • as soul • As smooth as braille • as slippery as a butcher's prick • as soft as a she-mouse's belly • as stiff as an old man on a cold winter's night • As-Salamu Alaykum

Soft as a pensioner's turd 

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When someone's actions are that soft that a pensioner's soft/runny stool holds more merit then their character and actions.
Worker A: Did you see old mate couldn't even lift a sandbag.

Worker B: Don't worry that cunt is as soft as a pensioner's turd, I have lost all hope with them.
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as rough as a badger’s arse

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Used when describing the feeling the morning after a night of heavy drinking.
“I’m so hungover! I feel as rough as a badger’s arse!”
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As Dry as an Arab's

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Short way of saying "as dry as an Arab's sandal"; the implication being that something is as dry as the sandal of someone in an Arab country where there is typically an abundance of sand and heat.

Sometimes, Scots say "As dry as an Arab's sanny". Sanny can denote a sandal or a sandshoe/plimsoll.
I need a drink of water, I'm as dry as an Arab's.
As Dry as an Arab's by catpeesweeties December 15, 2025
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Clear as a dog's drool 

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Very clear, Cloudless
Look! the sky is as clear as a dog's drool!

Oh my god, the water is as clear as a dog's drool!!
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Fair as a goat’s ass 

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A clear day or clean complexion.

(Most likely born of the observation that goats poop neat and dry little pellets, therefore leaving their back sides clear and clean.)
1. It’s fair as a goat’s ass outside today.

2. His/her skin is as fair as a goats ass.
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