Masturbating

What you were trying to do when your Mom caught you.

Chad were you masturbating?
No Mom my pants just slipped down and I was pulling them up!

by Squidbob October 12, 2021

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Anti-Masturbation Cross

An anti-masturbation cross is a device used by wankerphobic Christians. It combines the cross with straps to keep people from the age of 5+ from masturbating. It should be ended to help end wankerphobia.

John's parents are going to buy an anti-masturbation cross. I'm praying for him. I think Seb may have tipped them off.

by A_Manwithhiv April 22, 2021

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aural masturbation

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.

Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.

by MoGyver April 8, 2016

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disagreement masturbation

The act of listening and/or watching news media and opinions you disagree with to enjoy the fact that you disagree with it.

Sarah the atheist liberal enjoys listening to fundamentalist conservative Christian radio stations because she likes disagreement masturbation.

by qwartwater February 1, 2024

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tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.

My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation

by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023

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