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Insta-mum

A lovely looking lass, easy on the eye as they say and takes to Instagram to show off her tings with provocatively shot pics and creative use of camera angles, despite the fact that her parents also have social media accounts and might see this shit. Then the fucking slag has a kid. Unable to keep her legs shut long enough to keep out the majority of Insta-dicks, she is seeded and Insta-fuckboy as expected, fucks off. Kid barely starts to just be able to walk and say "Mum" when it's given it's own social media accounts and it's not before time that the kid having gotten a bit older now has access to pictures of his own mum being a tart. As do his friends. You guess the rest. Drugs, many other Insta-siblings from many other Insta-dads, bullying, depression and eventually suicide. Fuuuuuck.
"Yeah boi! Saw your mum on-"
"Fuck off! I know she can't keep her clothes on!"
Why does my mum have to be a Insta-mum? Thought Karl whilst crying/over-eating/masturbating/self mutilating later that day.

"Insta-mum! Insta-mum! Does she take it in the bum?"

"Hey Karl?"
"What?"
"Can I have a go on your Insta-mum?"
"............."
by incumbent sausage July 16, 2018
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ur mum

ur mum means ur mum
ur mum means ur mum
by vble April 28, 2022
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Mum

Your mum. The person who gave birth to you. You have a mum even if you are adopted. What did you expect.
by Hsbs April 1, 2019
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Mum don’t love me

Mum: I don’t love you anymore
Me: oh my mum don’t love me anymore cos i was an accident
by Haze_X12 May 11, 2022
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Ya mum

Used after a question, generally as a joke or an "insult"
Ya mum.
by lily_wrote_this December 20, 2010
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ur mum

an insult that is so painful to the opponent that most of the time he just dies
Jeff: your birthday was good
Sam: ur mum was good
Jeff: *dies*
by Caverace November 11, 2020
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bevvo’s mum

the fittest woman to ever live
Oh look, it’s bevvo’s mum, I’d shag that
by LewisThe420BlazeItDatBoi November 22, 2021
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