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Lakewood Rangers Football

The football team at Lakewood High School that is historically cursed with being terrible, except in 1984 and 1994 where we beat Eds and won the conference championship. The team historically starts the season off great and then it goes downhill from there. They’ve lost to the Rocky River Pirates every season for almost a decade now.
Guy 1: “Hey do you wanna go watch the Lakewood Rangers football game tonight?”
Guy 2: “Fuck no their O-line is terrible.”
by krillcatcher3000 December 4, 2025
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Football team

"Hey football team, before the game let's Uber to Dick's and get some fresh merch"
by Scooter McToot December 9, 2025
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Football Nazi

A Football Nazi is someone who claims to be an American football fan but will only watch the NFL or a Power 5 conference. If you offer them any form of football from a different source, they will claim it isn't worth watching without giving it a chance.
John: "Hey Dave, you wanna watch the UFL?"
Dave: "Why would I waste my time watching the UFL? Those players are so garbage!!"
John: "Which players specifically?"
Dave: "IDK I never watched the UFL"
John: "So if I gave you the choice of having Zach Wilson or Alex Mcgough lead your offense, you would choose Zach Wilson?"
Dave: "100%"
John: "Dave I think you might be a Football Nazi"
by TangyBBQ February 8, 2025
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Mountain Football

A fart contest. Rules vary from region to region, but the goal is to outfart your opponent(s). Best played in groups, so everyone can vote on various fart attributes such as tone quality, attack, release, aromatic quality, and whether it sounds like a particular animal or vocalization. Dutch-ovening your opponents is an automatic disqualification; crop-dusting is encouraged for extra entertainment.
Vic: Those baked beans were delicious, babe.
Sue: Yep, they sure were. Hope you're limbered up and ready for some Mountain Football tonight.
Vic: *frrrrrp??*
Sue: AHAHAHAAAA, you're ahead of me! That one went up at the end and sounded kind of like a question. I award six points and the extra conversion point for style.
by YuliaTheWitch June 4, 2024
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National Football Day

On June 10th everyone has to go post and appreciate national football/soccer.
Dan: Its finally National Football Day!

Tom: Today is National Football Day!
by WorldFootballPresident June 9, 2024
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