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wank in church

The act of masturbating in a church or any other religious setting.
What did you do this weekend?
I had a wank in church.
Ok...
Yeah, the priest wasn't too happy but he saw a choir boy and did the same.
by Baconwound August 9, 2022
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church

its a building where brainwashed people enter to pray to nothing,mostly elders.
If there are multiple churches nearby then its an obssesion of the priest to brainwash you especially if you are an atheist,someone who dont believes in god
A: Look at that building. What is that?
B: Its a church never go near it and especially in.
by nebba June 27, 2018
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Pucci Church

Pucci Church is a discord server and the best hell to stay in by JY Pucci Shawty.
The other members are the best ngl. The red Ranks are shit. Except for coom taco.
"Pucci Church is the best hell to stay in!"
by anonymous December 21, 2020
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reform The Church

to become a nihilist/anarchist/political shit disturber.
a history professor: students, what's the fastest way to go hell and to be punished by either G-d or the Unforgivables?

student: to become Jesus Christ the historical character and reform The Church?

professor: Correct you are, but this only applies, as you yourself pointed out, to Jesus the historical character, well since the Romans were pantheists
by Sexydimma June 15, 2012
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Church

1) A franchise, money-making machine based on god's word, the Bible.

Religious cults like Christianity, Catholicism, Buddhism, etc. each claim that god's word, which Bible is, belongs exclusively to them and their what they claim "god", when in reality re-ligious god is not different from an idol, material doll without any spiritual meaning. Word "religion" translated from Latin, literally means re-ligion, "upside down spirituality".

2) An institute of brainwashing and establishing control over the people. It's done by projecting slave-master relationship and strict power hierarchy, like god is ABOVE and people are his _slaves_. When in reality god is unknown. Unfathomable. He is NOT person or human-like. So it's not even "he". Somehow from this idea it's projected that even nominally government _serves_ the people, somehow government is corrupt and above people in reality, and that's totally fine, BECAUSE this is how GOD is.

That's why it's so important to support one-god religions and claim that religions with more than one god are outdated.
1) Example:
- Hey, I want to make some money off people's fear of their inadequacy media instills in them.
- Why don't you invest in a Church, this business is greatly supported by the government in any country as it supplements the propaganda.

2) Example:

- Hey, do you go to Church?
- Of course I do, it makes me feel good feeding my trauma-bond it constantly deepens making me feel guilty and forgiven by the government at the same time.
by Nikita1998 June 18, 2022
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God Church

Several years ago, an ancient species know as "Viners" ruled the universe. Viners were known for having an excessive amount of comedical qualities, aswell as being extremely white. The almighty Jake Paul, their father, created the so called "white people language" so the Viners could communicate. In this complex language Viners, also known as white people, used expressions like "spicy", "dab" and of course the great "god church". Intellegent scientists are capeable of understanding many of these expressions, but some are still unexplainable.
by Intellegent Professor June 5, 2017
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The Church of the Night Time Cat

The Church of the Night Time Cat is a bi-papal religion centring around the mythical 'Cat of the Night Time' (the Night Time Cat). It is believed that the Night Time Cat watches over his followers and keeps them safe from the night time sins of the Ripper (e.g. Sexual Assault, Alcoholic poisoning and STD's) and provides them with protection against these (condoms, taxis home, fake IDs, pot and other illicit substances).
Man 1 "May the Night Time Cat watch over you as you sleep"

Man 2 " oh but I'm not a follower of the Church of the Night Time Cat"
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