turd wannabes

Loosely held together feces that is too solid to be considered diarrhea yet too divided and "small-chunkish" to be considered a turd. These inferior poop chunks are notoriously known for the pain and uncomfortable feeling they give. Since they consist mainly of water and generally have low-poo density (see Type 5 and 6 on the Bristol Stool Scale) these "fluffy pieces with ragged edges" will definitely sour the remainder of the day. Being in relationships to alcohol, these chunks almost always making an appearance during a DADS. Worse yet, they are forever jealous of the their more popular turd brethren. They are turd wannabes.

My DADS this morning was awful; it consisted mostly of water, pizza, and turd wannabes.

by Idontfunkwithyou March 13, 2015

turd-scissors

A pair of scissors kept in the bathroom and exclusively used to divide large feces into flush-able segments.

I was at my boyfriends' house last night and took a giant crap. Fortunately, I found a pair of turd-scissors under the sink, and quickly cut the problem down to size.

by Trottz January 22, 2014

morning turd

the kind of person who likes to wake up in the morning to get things done, but rather lays in bed entertaining harrowing and negative thoughts like whether their parents love them in a sort of cynical, half-hazed slumber

wow i should really wake up and make some coffee, i'm being a morning turd

by The-real-cobra-queen September 5, 2019

turd talon

The proper manner in which to describe the penis as it eagerly anticipates butt sex with the best wife ever!!!

Fuck a poop pigeon, the turd talon is about to dominate that sweet ass of yours...CACAW

by Freemilk March 11, 2020

turd nugget

Relatively small, brown clump of doody material.

See also: Ashley

Ashley sure is a turd nugget.

by knowbodynos December 20, 2016

Fish turd

A tobacco blunt with very little weed in it, appearing very skinny, similar to a fish turd.

Bruh, we only have one gram left, and I don't wanna be smoking on a fish turd for the rest of the night.

by bepis with no b May 9, 2018

turd tennis

When two people line their assholes up facing
each other, and one poops into the others
asshole, and then the other person poops
right back into the first asshole, and this goes
back and forth for as long as they want.

Bob: "Me and this girl play turd tennis
regularly."

by Yo_yo mom December 6, 2022