speed skating

A very intense sport envolves skating so fast that you feel like you going faster that the speed of sound even though your grandmother can run faster than you skate. Unless you an Olympian

Guy1 “I’m going so fast right now. I must be going faster than Usain Bolt! I’m the best at speed skating”
Guy2 “no you’re not. That 4 year old is going faster than you”
Guy1 “oh. Sh*t”

by Oldbehide November 8, 2018

Flag

Get the speed skatingmug.

Speeding ticket

When you, a retard that can’t just STAY IN THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A RECKLESS AND DESTRUCTIVE DUMBASS, get pulled over for speeding. Dropping a gear and disappearing is also considered evading and eluding arrest; don’t do it. 1; now if you get caught you get punished MORE, dumbass, and 2; you’ll hit something and die for being a retard with a crotch rocket superbike wreck for a brain.

Respectable Sheriff: “Sir, did you even know how fucking fast you were go-“
Recipient of speeding ticket: *Drops a gear and tries to disappear, runs into an F-450, getting his blood and guts dragged across a road after being launched.*
Respectable Sheriff: “Holy shit… I’m just gonna call that one in……”
You can die, dumbass. Hold your horses and be reasonable. Have some fucking patience. Get there early, get there late; doesn’t matter. Just fucking get there and don’t die. It helps.

by The ceo of shit Cold War guns April 22, 2023

Flag