A wonderful place to work. You control every clock in the universe and stop time to fuck with people. A bunch of sadists. Love getting Taco Bell for lunch and spilling salsa on their keyboards
Person one: I need a knew watch, what do you recommend?
Time Clock Plus employee: honestly I’ve put every watch we have up my ass at one point so whichever you choose will give you shit battery life but can fully be submerged without dying on you
Time Clock Plus employee: honestly I’ve put every watch we have up my ass at one point so whichever you choose will give you shit battery life but can fully be submerged without dying on you
by Female Charles Boyle June 30, 2019
Ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time
Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn't find the thyme...
They're finally making a movie called clocks. It's about time.
What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second hand information.
We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.
What happens when you annoy a clock? It gets ticked off.
What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up!
Why did the man sit on his clock? He wanted to be on time.
If I wanted to have the time of my life, I would work in a clock shop.
I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in...
Why didn’t the clock work? It needed a hand.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time
Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds
I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn't find the thyme...
They're finally making a movie called clocks. It's about time.
What do you call a story that one clock tells to another? Second hand information.
We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.
What happens when you annoy a clock? It gets ticked off.
What did the robber say to the clock? Hands up!
Why did the man sit on his clock? He wanted to be on time.
If I wanted to have the time of my life, I would work in a clock shop.
I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in...
Why didn’t the clock work? It needed a hand.
by Ding Dong Ching Chong November 28, 2019
When a person, usually your spouse or in-law, tries to pin you down to a certain time even though they know certain aspects are out of your control and they are pretty aware you will be not arriving when they want you to.
After the question is posed in several ways, the offender usually succumbs and blurts out a time they know will make the spouse happy but is totally implausible, thus hanging themselves based on the time they were coerced into stating.
After the question is posed in several ways, the offender usually succumbs and blurts out a time they know will make the spouse happy but is totally implausible, thus hanging themselves based on the time they were coerced into stating.
Wife: So what time will you be home tonight?
Husband: I am not sure because of this 5pm meeting today and the usual traffic.
Wife: Usually you are home at 5:45, so maybe you will be here like 5:50?
Husband: When I get home at 5:45 I do not have 5pm meetings on those days so it is hard to say
Wife: How long is your meeting?
Husband: I'm not running it so I am not sure
Wife: Traffic shouldn't be too bad since it's friday so you can probably get here by 6pm I would think, don't you?
Husband: yeah sure 6pm
The husband was effectively put in a clock-noose
Husband: I am not sure because of this 5pm meeting today and the usual traffic.
Wife: Usually you are home at 5:45, so maybe you will be here like 5:50?
Husband: When I get home at 5:45 I do not have 5pm meetings on those days so it is hard to say
Wife: How long is your meeting?
Husband: I'm not running it so I am not sure
Wife: Traffic shouldn't be too bad since it's friday so you can probably get here by 6pm I would think, don't you?
Husband: yeah sure 6pm
The husband was effectively put in a clock-noose
by Thejuice April 09, 2013
by T1430 July 21, 2017
An alternate name for the NBA’s 24 second shot clock. The name is used to honor the legacy of the great Kobe Bean Bryant.
Friend 1: ”Did you see that shot clock violation? That was some gritty defense”
Friend 2: ”Yeah the Kobe Clock expired, RIP Mamba”
Friend 2: ”Yeah the Kobe Clock expired, RIP Mamba”
by Pskills43 January 28, 2020
Teacher: So your son has been wildin out in my classroom recently and i'm not sure what else to do, we've tried everything we could
Mom: Oh don't worry, because imma clock in on that ass later when we get home. It wont happen again i can tell you that
Delinquent: No momma please i learned my lesson
Mom: Oh don't worry, because imma clock in on that ass later when we get home. It wont happen again i can tell you that
Delinquent: No momma please i learned my lesson
by Da_vinki June 14, 2023