John Pork was born into poverty, never knowing his mother. His father, a pig, died when John was only three, leaving him an orphan. As the offspring of a human and a pig, John was best described as a man-pig—akin to South Park's "man-bear-pig." After his father's death, John was sent to the Adoptuah "Adopt on that thang" Adoption Center, where he was adopted by G-Man, a key figure in the Skibidi Toilet Rebellion. G-Man was a celebrated pilot in the Toilet Force Air and flew the notorious "We Bring the Boom."
John's adopted mother, Hailey Welch, was an international star and the host of the popular podcast Talk Tuah. At 20, John was invited onto her show, sparking his rise to fame. His appearance led to a national phenomenon: John Pork calling people. After the podcast, John began dialing strangers' phones, causing panic and outrage. The unsolicited calls sparked protests, and the song "John Pork Is Calling", by artist dontcarewontcare, became a global hit.
However, John Pork's fame was fleeting. When the Skibidi Toilet Rebellion reignited, John was drafted. Eager to follow his father's legacy, he joined the Toilet Force Air, piloting the same plane his father had. His bravery earned him the codename "Hawk 2" and the Flickermunting Award for Upstanding Gooning.
Afterward, John met Joana Pork, his future wife, and settled in Georgia. He worked for a government contractor, built the Pork Family Compound, and fathered three children: Jimmy Ham, John Pork Jr., and Billy Bacon.
John's adopted mother, Hailey Welch, was an international star and the host of the popular podcast Talk Tuah. At 20, John was invited onto her show, sparking his rise to fame. His appearance led to a national phenomenon: John Pork calling people. After the podcast, John began dialing strangers' phones, causing panic and outrage. The unsolicited calls sparked protests, and the song "John Pork Is Calling", by artist dontcarewontcare, became a global hit.
However, John Pork's fame was fleeting. When the Skibidi Toilet Rebellion reignited, John was drafted. Eager to follow his father's legacy, he joined the Toilet Force Air, piloting the same plane his father had. His bravery earned him the codename "Hawk 2" and the Flickermunting Award for Upstanding Gooning.
Afterward, John met Joana Pork, his future wife, and settled in Georgia. He worked for a government contractor, built the Pork Family Compound, and fathered three children: Jimmy Ham, John Pork Jr., and Billy Bacon.
"Hey Adrian, you're getting a call!"
"Oh, it's from my good friend, John Pork!"
"Dude. Have you heard dontcarewontcares new single 'John Pork is calling...?' EVERYONE is listening to it!"
"Yeah, man! I saw Skibidi Chris listening to it earlier!"
"Haley Griner, what do you think of John Pork?"
"He's SO HOT!!"
"Oh, it's from my good friend, John Pork!"
"Dude. Have you heard dontcarewontcares new single 'John Pork is calling...?' EVERYONE is listening to it!"
"Yeah, man! I saw Skibidi Chris listening to it earlier!"
"Haley Griner, what do you think of John Pork?"
"He's SO HOT!!"
by Pork's Historical Society November 25, 2024
Get the John Porkmug. 1. An unforeseeable, unpredictable event that occurs when attempting to complete a task or do something cool, BUT produces a result that was even cooler and more rare than you ever thought would happen.
2. Being so incredibly fortunate to feast your eyes on something so unique and rare that you hold that memory dear until you explain it to another believer of ‘the pork nugget’ and share a cheeky smile and eye squint with them.
2. Being so incredibly fortunate to feast your eyes on something so unique and rare that you hold that memory dear until you explain it to another believer of ‘the pork nugget’ and share a cheeky smile and eye squint with them.
1. Attempting to throw a ball off a wall into a cup, but it hits the edge of a brick, rebounds off your cousins chin, knocks a budgie off its perch and THEN lands in the original cup. ‘What a Pork Nugget!’
2. When you see the woman of your dreams and think to yourself… ‘ohhh what a pork nugget’
2. When you see the woman of your dreams and think to yourself… ‘ohhh what a pork nugget’
by PorkyBusiness March 8, 2022
Get the Pork Nuggetmug. Having intercourse with a larger Vietnamese girl.
by Peter Pinson January 31, 2024
Get the vietnamese pork rollmug. When a man cuts off his foreskin and drops it in a deep fryer for approximately 24 hours and removes it from the fryer. He then crushes it to a powder and puts it in a mixture of heroine and straight black coffee and butt-chugs it.
by Bagel aids July 17, 2022
Get the Delaware Pork-Rindmug. When a big girl takes off her clothes and it looks like she got no panties on, but then she straighten her torso and you see the thong appear through her love folds. That's pork floss baby
"oooh damn baby you came through with no panties on?"
"Nah I got a thong, *lifts belly* see?"
"Ooh pork floss I like it"
"Nah I got a thong, *lifts belly* see?"
"Ooh pork floss I like it"
by Capnfapjax19 October 14, 2023
Get the Pork Flossmug. Pork that comes from a large scale hog farm that is most likely subsidized somewhere in the midwest by ChemChina, or the like ,that under very poor conditions, mass produces hogs and then buys the product at a very low price to sell and also ship back to China since only 11% of their land can grow food for their population or feed for the hogs. Slang, Indo Pork = Indoor Pork/hydroponicic pig.
by Ms.Anthrope August 11, 2016
Get the indo porkmug. A person who sucks on the toes of another person. In reference to the nursery rhyme where a child’s toes are called piggies.
by Moon Miller November 4, 2019
Get the Pork suckermug.