turtle penis

someone that takes a long time to get laid.

My brother is 21 and hasnt gotten laid yet, so he is a turtle penis

by olbaid222 October 11, 2009

turtle fuck

When you do your bitch doggie style under the coffee table, when she sticks her head out the other side you punch it. Hince the word turtle fuck

Joseph turtle fucked his old lady that is why she has a knot on the back of her head

by Made Man August 21, 2006

Squirming Turtle

When a girl is giving you head in bed and you fart while trapping her under the duvet.

Girl "Bastard, you farted while I was under there"
Gay "Haha you were such a squirming turtle"

by aqwsde June 16, 2010

turtle bait

Any powerful concoction of laxatives. Referring to the similarity in image of a turtle slowly sticking its head out of its shell to the image of stool slowly starting to exit the anus in a constipated individual. Also in reference to the following analogy to constipation, "The turtle's poking his head out but that's all I can muster." Turtle bait thus encourages defecation.

Setting: A hospital service that commonly deals with constipation.

Doctor 1: He's had a lot of morphine, and I think it's causing him to get constipated. No bowel movements for 5 days.

Doctor 2: I think a little TURTLE BAIT would help. Write orders for colace, miralax, metamucil, mag citrate, and if that doesn't work, an ox bile enema.

by Bocephalus August 4, 2006

mud-turtle

girl you would hook up with drunk, but not sober.

Q: dude i was so hammered last night what happen?

A: Dude you hooked up with that mud-turtle with the acne all over her face.

by blacktony July 1, 2008

Turtle Neck

Turtle neck is oral sex, or neck peformed very slowly. It's the slowest neck you can get. Originating in Dallas, Texas the word has since made it's way to Georgia.

Arthur: "What'd you do last night fool?"

Andre: "Man I smoked a blunt with Jalisa, and that hoe gave me turtle neck for about 30 minutes!"

by King Diop January 11, 2008

The Awkward Turtle

A sex position. A guy gets a girl naked, gets himself naked except for his pants, and lays on top of her. He then proceeds to awkwardly dry hump her while wriggling his arms and legs and making awkward noises, including the phrase, "Awkward turtle!!"

Man, Kevin totally Awkward Turtled Amanda last night. She was so mad.

Timmy never had sex before, and he really liked Stacy. They were making out and were about to have sex, but Timmy got really nervous. Instead, he just did The Awkward Turtle until she got dressed and went home.

by SuccubusLady August 4, 2011