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Naval Tortoise

A person who loves water...to the point where some people say it is obsessive. They cannot stay away from water long and typically hate on those who disrespect H2O. People often call them insane but they often beat them in water-related sports. It is believed that after a certain point they will grow fins and gills, though it is said to be theoretically impossible. It is believed they may be the future of man's aquatic evolution. Great prowess, ESP. on a water bed!
Mcgee: You see that naval tortoise
Rackman: Yeah he grew his fins last night and stole my girl this morning.
by DJ Craze October 23, 2013
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Tortoise

THE MOST BADASS ANIMAL ON THE PLANET. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A LIVING TANK.
"Damn do you see that guy over there who owns a tortoise?"
"Fucking badass"
by LiverGiver February 11, 2021
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Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).
"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."
by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013
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Touching The Tortoise

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them
by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023
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tortoise pigeons

the humorous name for the fake Yeezy Boost 350 Turtle Doves
- Damn, I got scammed for the yeezys
- Shit man, you got the tortoise pigeons
by ibelongwithmemes0000 April 28, 2017
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tortoise tickler

When being anally fingered so deep that the finger reaches fecal matter.
We were in a gay tussle when he used the tortoise tickler, and then he had to stop to wash his hands.
by Myspeakingpseudonym July 4, 2015
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Tortoiseitis

Slower than fuck. A very slow person.
It takes that bitch forever to put her makeup on she has tortoiseitis.
by Mike Hawksbigger January 31, 2023
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