Rub one off

Masturbation that ends up on somebody else.

Hector tried to rub one off on an exotic looking girl's tits at a ranch in California, but Jesus put one in the back of his head down by the river for what he did so that nobody in town would find his body and have it drawn and quartered.

by Solid Mantis April 9, 2019

Crack one off in the dhansak

Any retribution by restaurant staff towards rude customers.

Don't be so rude to the waiter, Jeff, or he'll crack one off in the dhansak!

by dannyboffin November 19, 2007

trap one off

Step 1: fill up the tub just enough so your nob is out of the water.

Step 2: catch a fly and rip his wings off.

Step 3: stick the fly on the end of your prick.

Flies don't like water so he will just walk around the tip of your dick

Go home tonight and Trap one off. I did it this weekend. Felt amazing. Yet another thing to cross off the bucket list.

by Qbaybay October 11, 2013

Tie One Off

The act of having sexual intercourse.

If my date goes well, I plan to tie one off.

by Chumpbuster January 23, 2009

miriah one off

The art of tossing off while watching the fake celebrity porn pictures of miriah carey taking it up the rim your sick friend has sent you, usually putting them in a folder and watching them as a slide show, leaving both your hands free to attempt to catch the imminent waterfall.

Dude, fuck off a minute, im bursting to miriah one off.

by Rob October 22, 2004

Nip one off

Refering to the action of the anal spincter at the conclusion of a succesfull bowel movement.
This term is seldom used after excessive consumption of lager and vindaloo curry.

Where's the arse fodder? I am going to nip one off.

by Blue Cawdrey November 19, 2004

Harry One Off

To potter - to do random aimless tasks and generally avoid doing stuff you should be doing. Procrastination.

Chippie had a hell of a lot of stuff to do but when I got home I discovered he had decided to harry one off all day and had done fuck all of any importance.

by Chris Memes January 15, 2009