Swift one off the wrist

To masturbate

That girl looks so hot i think i'll just pop to the toilet and have a swift one off the wrist

by saddlesniffer September 26, 2014

fire one off the cuff

To masturbate (male)

My bitch wasn't around and I was hornier than a dog with two dicks, so I quickly fired one off the cuff before she came home.

by Absintheminded April 9, 2004

Crack one off in the dhansak

Any retribution by restaurant staff towards rude customers.

Don't be so rude to the waiter, Jeff, or he'll crack one off in the dhansak!

by dannyboffin November 19, 2007

Squirt one off in my ass

It is a progression of using the phrase "fuck me" in a derogatory manor.

Party one: Dude, I just saw your car getting towed away.

Party two: Squirt one off in my ass! I can't afford to get it out of impound!

by Djbrad2100 June 28, 2017

Nip one off

Refering to the action of the anal spincter at the conclusion of a succesfull bowel movement.
This term is seldom used after excessive consumption of lager and vindaloo curry.

Where's the arse fodder? I am going to nip one off.

by Blue Cawdrey November 19, 2004

I just cracked me one off.

A phrase used in internet forums to confess having masturbated to a posted pic or story. Frequently used to express appreciation for a pic or story even if actual masturbation hasn't taken place. Occasionally used ironically or to be comedically inappropriate.

Example 1: <user posts pic of a PAWG> ... I just cracked me one off.

Example 2: <I just found out that my mother has terminal brain cancer> ... I just cracked me one off .

by Carlton G. Long January 12, 2020

Off-one

To get sober. Or more commonly referred to quitting methamphetamines.

Hey, I'm sorry but I can't chill with you guys at the tweaker pad anymore...I'm trying to stay off-one for good.

by Fairyduster86 January 18, 2017