The self-bumpkin technique is performed by first waiting 7-10 days without taking a shit, and then when finally shitting, curving the large feces toward you, under your balls, up from between your legs, and into your dick. You then suck the shit back in and out of your ass, repeating this movement until ejaculation. This technique results in euphoria, as well as chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Also you may notice black discharge from the urethra 2-12 hours after performing this technique.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.
“Dude, I’m about to try the self-blumpkin technique! I’m 6 days in without shitting!”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”
by Rusted Sounding Rod April 29, 2025
by mommysmilk April 18, 2021
Last night I was receiving a cyber blumpkin from some noob, so I grabbed a keyboard, wrapped my arms around their back, and proceeded to play SWTOR for the next 15 minutes.
by JaemX December 13, 2012
by Broken teapot June 11, 2021
It was fall and I was feeling festive and frisky but had to shit so naturally I asked my girl for a blumpkin bagel.
by Muffins. August 24, 2022
by Farcical April 21, 2024
by cmat1228 January 25, 2025