a shlong so big it makes girls evolve and build time machines just so they can relive the exsprience of taking that rod right up the culo. sometimes girls mistake him for a black guy.
by webbybutter January 2, 2023
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by Theone and only ky November 21, 2023
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sclong • Sclongdiferous • Sclongpository • shlong • Schlong • schlonged • schlonger • sconge • Schlonging • scrongle
When a sweet mild slides down your shaft with the precision of a well organized milf poking causing her velvet cavern to reorganize
Damn, that was a Sweet Mama Lama Schlong Song with a Gut reorganizer. She must have kids and loose morals
by Dr. Moosknuckle December 28, 2023
Get the Sweet Mama Lama Schlong Song with a Gut reorganizer mug.The master of the drunken schlong acquired his coveted title after years of nailing broads while mixing liquors. The ladies hate that he doesn't have a job so they have to supply his liqour habit, but the power up his schlong gets while sipping a potion of hurricane beer and a cup of Henny mixed with EJ blue cap is far too great too kick him out and break his PS5 she bought him. When reading it's power level it goes from a solid 600 and sky rockets over 9000 while sipping the magic liquor potions.
The master of the drunken schlong is more powerful then Superman hulk Spiderman and fucking batman combined
by The Drunken Schlong Master January 28, 2025
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A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
A caffeine-powered computer whisperer who walks the line between genius and glitch. Damian “Long Shlong” Wood isn’t just a man—he’s a chaotic event wearing human skin. He speaks fluent binary, communes with frogs for wisdom, and believes any disaster can be solved if you just Megazord it.
Profile:
Tech Wizard: Fixes computers by glaring at them until the motherboard apologizes. Once coded a working game using only a keyboard missing the “E.”
Frog Lore Scholar: Claims frogs hold the Wi-Fi password of the universe—and somehow everyone believes him.
Megazord Philosopher: His life motto: “When it’s broken, just Megazord it.” Nobody knows what that means, yet it always works.
Professional Gooner: Operates on pure focus and unholy energy; rumored to have transcended sleep during a 72-hour code-and-Red Bull marathon.
Personality:
Chaotically evil in the most helpful way possible. He’ll repair your router, but it’ll play frog croaks on startup afterward. The man radiates the aura of an overclocked raccoon who discovered enlightenment and decided to major in IT.
Legacy:
Some say he was born when a lightning bolt struck a USB hub; others think he’s a firmware update that gained consciousness. Either way, Damian “Long Shlong” Wood remains a walking reminder that science, chaos, and frog memes can coexist.
by geggregmed October 16, 2025
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