In essence, calling someone a "backseat wanker" suggests that they are not actively participating or contributing, instead, they are being unhelpful or critical from a position of relative ease or distance, akin to someone sitting idly in the backseat of a car while others do the work of driving. It's a derogatory term used to criticize someone's behaviour or attitude.
Let's say a group of friends is working on a project together, and they're all brainstorming ideas and putting in effort to get the work done. One person, let's call him John, sits back and offers no suggestions, doesn't contribute any work, and just criticizes the ideas and efforts of others without offering any constructive input. John is essentially being a "backseat wanker" in this scenario, as he's not actively participating in the group's efforts but is quick to criticize from the sidelines without offering any meaningful contribution himself.
by chaise longue April 9, 2024

The Legend of the West Greene Wanker
In the shadowed corridors of West Greene High, hidden in the hills of East Tennessee. one name lingers: the West Greene Wanker. A visionary of chaos and charisma, he roamed the bleachers and bathrooms where not but a few knew his name till that fabled day.
To the faculty, he was a disruption. To the students, a prophet. His titles were many, bestowed by those who witnessed his antics with awe and confusion: Bleacher Beater, Enrichment Edger, Gymnasium Gooner, and the ever-infamous Junior Jerker. No one knows what sparked the sudden urge of goonery that day, what mysterious force beheld upon him to unleash chaos right then and there.
His behavior defied explanation. The unedgeucated saw chaos, the enlightened saw performance art. The administration, lacking the Intelligence to decode his gospel of goonery, responded with drastic force. Confirmed by school officials, he was suspended for five days. The ABIC placement was pure fiction, spread by goonsciples hungry for myth, Though the official record shows just a five-day suspension, we the Goonsciples hold firm to the prophecy: he will not walk those halls again. His path now leads to the sacred solitude of homeschooling, where his goonery can ferment unbound.
It is said that if he returns, the lockers will rattle, the claps will rise, and the spirit of goonery will be reborn. Until then, his absence felt like a missing page in the yearbook.
In the shadowed corridors of West Greene High, hidden in the hills of East Tennessee. one name lingers: the West Greene Wanker. A visionary of chaos and charisma, he roamed the bleachers and bathrooms where not but a few knew his name till that fabled day.
To the faculty, he was a disruption. To the students, a prophet. His titles were many, bestowed by those who witnessed his antics with awe and confusion: Bleacher Beater, Enrichment Edger, Gymnasium Gooner, and the ever-infamous Junior Jerker. No one knows what sparked the sudden urge of goonery that day, what mysterious force beheld upon him to unleash chaos right then and there.
His behavior defied explanation. The unedgeucated saw chaos, the enlightened saw performance art. The administration, lacking the Intelligence to decode his gospel of goonery, responded with drastic force. Confirmed by school officials, he was suspended for five days. The ABIC placement was pure fiction, spread by goonsciples hungry for myth, Though the official record shows just a five-day suspension, we the Goonsciples hold firm to the prophecy: he will not walk those halls again. His path now leads to the sacred solitude of homeschooling, where his goonery can ferment unbound.
It is said that if he returns, the lockers will rattle, the claps will rise, and the spirit of goonery will be reborn. Until then, his absence felt like a missing page in the yearbook.
When we needed him most the The West Greene Wanker was gone, leaving only echoes of chaos and his despair, and goonery gone
By Goonciple IV, September 10, 2025
By Goonciple IV, September 10, 2025
by Goonsiple IV September 10, 2025

Canadian variant, common in the 1980's and 1990's. The equivalent of the American term, hesher. A young male who listens to metal or hard rock, wears a mullet style haircut or all around long hair, concert shirt or truck stop novelty joke shirt, Harley Davidson merchandise, high top Reebok shoes with the laces loose and tongues out. Hobbies include: amateur herpetology, getting blasted into oblivion smoking hash in the form of hot knives, drinking 60 pounder bottles of Smirnoff vodka, cruising Catholic schools at recess to pick up girls in the smoking area and playing eight-ball at the local pool hall or trailer park recreation building. Wanker tanker refers to a late 1970's model Chevy Camaro, Trans-Am or Firebird which is the chariot of choice for many wankers, as they can rarely afford a Corvette.
by HelFyr June 12, 2018

An optional large rectangular side pouch usually worn on the duty belt of a police officer. If you wear this pouch you are a wanker.
by thenameisname June 19, 2020

Rosie: "Gregg asked me to the school dance"
Alex: "Oh my God, he's such a wanker! "
Rosie:"Seriously hot,though "
Alex: "Oh my God, he's such a wanker! "
Rosie:"Seriously hot,though "
by Surjit Bonggol September 8, 2014

by Ass wanker April 11, 2021

by CurryIsTheGoodStuff August 15, 2019
