Jesus holiday

The practice of a worker taking two days off from work ill before miraculously returning on the third day ie on the third day he rose again

Jarod was off ill on Monday and Tuesday, returning Wednesday before needing a sick note from the doctor. Must of been a Jesus holiday

by 10cc July 1, 2016

banana jesus

the god of fun and fruit and has never turns down a good time with freinds and hot chicks.

damn, banana jesus gots the moves!!

by bananajesus2018 September 21, 2017

Trap Jesus

Is a man who deals in the trap life, but hold to higher morals and standards.

Trap Jesus said he ain't smoking dope with anyone under 23, because they need to get out the traphouse and go to college.

by †π∆₱ J౿§u$ April 17, 2017

Tombstone Jesus

Tombstone Jesus is an american professional wrestler. A Legend in his own mind. Unfortunately his mind is that of an old fart with dementia. He claims to be the leader of the tombiverse,age in bad ass years and have ak-47 blood type. Even in the wrestling world that is clearly the ramblings of someone with clear brain damage. Usually seen wandering the desert with his equally moronic son Otto von Clutch. The to constantly post the adventures of dumb and dumber. Adventures nobody wants to watch but much like a train wreck they can't help but look. The Worst wrestling match in history is the match between tombstone Jesus and the American giant Buck brezner. As a result of that match to this day having a bad performance is known as pulling a Tombstone. The only thing that may be worse than his wrestling could possibly be his music.

Bro you are in the Maine tonight. Please for the love of everything holy please don't pull a Tombstone Jesus

by Dcw fan November 16, 2022

raped by jesus

when jesus comes down with spider people and rapes your grandma in the ass true fact if you commit too satan prepare the aking

i felt jesus in my ass i think i was raped by jesus

by dic kin ya momma bith April 20, 2017

Jesus Crackers

Communion bread. Only funnier and truer. Best used in the context of satirizing Christianity and in humoring the physical appearance of the bread.

Friend: "I went to church today"
Friend 2: "Ouu what'd you do?"
Friend: "We heard a homily and prayed and received communion!"
Friend 2: "yOu mEan yOu aTe jEsuS cRackErs"

by the Dan Dan that Can Can April 13, 2020

rave jesus

An individual who dresses up as jesus and attends raves. Goes up to individuals having a bad reaction or "trip" on drugs and makes them feel safe.

Friend one: Damn bro, I was so mucked out last night! I saw god!
Friend two: Na dude, that was rave jesus.

by jghfcjvkhjkk January 27, 2019