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muffin monday

When you find a muffin on the dashboard of your car on Monday morning but you have no idea who put it there so you post it on Facebook and find out your dad left it there for you.
by MuffinMonday412 December 5, 2016
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Salty Muffin

(During intercourse) when you're about to cum, spray your load into your hand. With that hand, wipe it all over your partners butt cheek. Sprinkle some salt on it, then lick it off.
Wife: Honey whats for tea?
Husband: Im gonna make you a salty muffin
by @&@9/11 October 31, 2015
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muffin sauce

She got muffin sauce all over my new sheets last night.
by MAN_PILE_CHAMPION January 15, 2016
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Punched muffin

Some bro: dude, that chick is ugly!
Andrew: she's about as appealing as a punched muffin
by Sergeant Doncho June 21, 2019
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Muffin Clutcher

A derogatory name for a homosexual implying that one holds a testicle sack in their hand.
“Aw do you know that Dave Andrews?”

“Aw yeah he was a total muffin clutcher
by Yeticunt May 24, 2019
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Grumpy Muffin

When you and your loved one want to make sexy time and you have to poop, so you first grab frozen blueberries from freezer. Next, both get naked and and man sits on SO face facing towards SO feet and asks, "Will you lick my __________." Then the person getting licked takes a massive dump on the face of the SO and and quickly sprinkles blueberries on the poop, on the face. SO then cusses you out, wipes the poop from the eyes, and frowns.
Last night I asked my girlfriend to lick my nuts while I sat on her face, but I really had to go poop, too. I ended up pooping on her face and giving her a "Grumpy Muffin." She was not happy about it.
by Desperate Grandpa June 7, 2019
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Mixing the muffins

when a male specimen inserts their sausage up the female specimens peach and inside their muffins making and mixing it around, just like one is mixing the muffins in baking. This is called mixing the muffins
johny: ohhhh yeah keep mixing the muffins
bobby:I willlllllll
by yeah the yobbo chats June 11, 2019
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