West Newton

Toughest part of Newton By far. the lake thinks they are......but in reality, there not.

Those west newton kids came to our carnival again and stomped all of our regulars....shit!

by Dont act like you know me November 3, 2006

Newton, Iowa

A glorious little shit hole in Central Iowa, well known for not having anything to do, not having any place to work, and having lots of weed. If you live in Newton, Iowa, you are either addicted to drugs, too poor to move to a better place, or an old, retired person. Newton, Iowa offers a variety of activities for young people to do, such as smoke weed, drive around town for six hours with no destination (sometimes while smoking weed), go to the roller skating rink (if you're 12), smoke weed, attend one of the 50 churches, eat fast food, smoke weed, have unprotected sex with multiple partners (at once or separately), go bowling, or cook meth, just to name them all. Newton, Iowa also has a fairly new race track, so now everything is just FUCKING DANDY! You can't smoke a race track, so very few Newton teens enjoy it. Newton, Iowa is 30 miles away from everything. Avoid this town like the plague.

Welcome to Newton, Iowa. We hope you brought something to do.

Man 1: "Where are you from?"
Man 2: "Newton, Iowa."
Man 1: "Sucks to be you, man."
Man 2: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm so baked right now."

by hodgepodge April 23, 2012

fig newton

the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth

I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons

by misaki December 28, 2005

Newtons Balls

Where a woman gets double penetrated by 2 guys and their balls clash in the middle, essentially clacking like a set of Newtons Balls.

Dude, i had the weirdest sex last night. I was having a threesome with another chick and a dude and i swear there was some serious Newtons Balls flying about.

by Darryl Godoy May 20, 2008

Fig Newton

A mediocre guy either in looks, personality, or both. And although he is average in every way, he thinks he is basically Ryan Reynolds.
While they may stay fig newtons forever it is possible for them to transform into something…like an Oreo…..or even a chocolate chip cookie.
While they are rare, fig newtons can also be female.

Examples: Jeff and Lester from the TV show Chuck
Dwight from the office.

Frollo from Hunchback of Norte Dame
Farquad from Shrek
Prince Charming from Shrek 2
Hans from Frozen
J’son (Starlord’s ‘Dad’) from Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice (honorable mention Mr. Wickham)

Yeah, we talked a bit. But, he was a bit of a fig Newton so I’m not interested.

Oh, nah! He a fig newton.

He got that fig newton haircut.

He talks like a fig newton.

He was the figgiest of newtons.

by notafignewton March 26, 2022

newton balling

When three or more willing homosexuals are having simultaneous anal intercourse(like so - >>>). The furthermost partys testicles swing away gaining momentum, swings back and hits the middle partys testicles, but due to the fact that the middle partys testicles are still in contact with the foremost partys testicles, it does not move but releases the energy into the foremost parties testicles swinging them forward, thus giving the "newtons cradle" effect.

Keith: Hey, have you seen that video online? its got the record for the most downloads in a single hour.
George: Nah what is it?
Keith: Its a video of Ricky Martin, Clay Aiken, Tom Cruise and Vin Diesel Newton Balling
George:WHAT THE F$#K!!

by testy365 July 2, 2009

Newton Abbot

A large market town in south Devon inhabited by drunken Londoners and Chavs. The town became a shithole in the 1980s after Dr Beeching closed down the town’s railway works. Every street is full of Charity shops, Turkish barbers and takeaways. Large communist and Fascists movement has blighted the school’s.

“Hey man, is their a place more chavy than Birmingham?”

“Yeah, it’s called Newton Abbot”

by Baconflavouredcrisps December 25, 2018