Optimism

Bringing condoms to a family funeral

Person 1: Shit, have you got a condom?
Person 2: We’re going to our Aunt’s funeral?!
Person 1: Yeah, but you know, what if?
Person 2: Fair enough bra. That’s optimism

by Mebemax September 7, 2023

Actual Optimal

When an action or object is "actual optimal" it is to be of optimum actuality.

"bro thats actual optimal"
"whats the fuck does that mean"
"actual optimal"
"actual optimal"

by sssly August 23, 2022

Optimized

A product or service that has been rendered completely useless, unmanageable, or irrelevant. In software, this is usually due to over-engineering or a lack of fundamental understanding of how to interpret analytics related to the typical use case. Most common in software and online services, but can be applied to other industries.

example 1: "YouTube has nearly been optimized to perfection."
example 2: "Kathleen Kennedy has optimized Star Wars cinematic storytelling."

by ThatAwesomeTerr June 13, 2018

optimizer

Bullshit software made up by Chinese companies as a form of making extra cash.

IOBit Advanced System Optimizer is useless, it does nothing for your computer

by nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn January 5, 2021

Hypothetical Optimism

When someone tells you “things get better” but that isn’t really true. They say this because they have a hypothetical belief that you can have someone to help you get better.

1:Hey man, you have someone to talk to, trust me.
2:That’s hypothetical optimism because I have no one to talk to. I’m also lonely as fuck.

by whx November 19, 2023

Optimized Game Syndrome

A person who believes anything added to a game that looks nice or fun to play will automatically make the game laggy.

Developer: Yo we should really add Attack Helicopters
Owner: No that will make the game laggy, we have too much tech.
Developer: Bro stop having Optimized Game Syndrome

by xalency May 19, 2024

Pareto optimal

A sophisticated way to say, "Life is not always fair"

Person A: How come Hillary Clinton didn't win the 2008 primaries?

Person B: Well...life in many ways is Pareto optimal. Besides I heard from someone that her campaign slogan was, "Anarchy is my policy for men."

by paisleynotes November 2, 2009