asphyxiated turtle head

pronounced- ass fix ee eight ed ter tul hed, which is the state of a mans penis when attempting to pee after having been in an uncomfortably cold temperature for a range of time. Asphyxiated turtle head can even cause pain in the tip and give the sensation of still having urine that needs to be expelled.
"damn this asphyxiated turtle head! ive been forcing out drops of piss for 3 minutes!"
by MercWidaMouth November 14, 2010
mugGet the asphyxiated turtle headmug.

Turtle head

A crap that starts to win the fight.
by D_Train August 14, 2019
mugGet the Turtle headmug.

Snapping Turtle's Head

Snapping Turtle's Head

Adverb, Metaphor - Describes a crisis of chronic defecation.

Example
Whist the turtle's head (turd) is about to fully emerge from its shell, there happens upon it a sudden and quite shocking movement of the bowel.
Because the body believes that such a surge of power must surely occur DURING the ejection of the faeces, (even though the victim is retaining the load) the sphincter begins to air-spasm as if snapping the enormous delivery into manageable chunks. The resulting involuntary bodily event is euphemistically known as 'A Snapping Turtle's Head.
It was when I was a minute from my station and too late to escape using the toilet on the train, yet knowing that there WAS a toilet at the approaching platform, that the situation turned critical, the danger imminent! Although I had retained a calm control over the crisis I could only resign myself to the cradle of fate when my body went into SNAPPING TURTLE'S HEAD !
by TONY of SXW2 August 12, 2025
mugGet the Snapping Turtle's Headmug.

big headed turtle

Much like the big headed turtle, this term describes a big headed and small minded member of an older generation that is going extinct. The big headed turtle is a member of an older generation that has no interest in updating their knowledge of the world, only reads biased articles, belittles issues of millennials that he/she has never faced or researched, ferociously holds the baton on Facebook for insensitive propaganda, instigates and incites arguments for joy, does not know how to check sources for accuracy, and denies being racist/homophobic/sexist while supporting racist/homophobic/sexist ideals. Enjoys, coincidentally, calling others bigots while in fact being a bigot.
This big headed turtle posted a picture of millennials crying, affected by the deaths in the Florida shooting, stating that millennials only problems are "getting offended and protesting ridiculous causes."

Thank goodness big headed turtles are going extinct. One told me he isn't racist, but will not hire African Americans because of "how they get."

My big headed boss turtle inappropriately grabbed me at a company party, then told me, "Men don't get assaulted, they get complimented or fired."
by lolweird February 25, 2018
mugGet the big headed turtlemug.
Lowering one’s guard and then striking when least expected.
Robert formed rapport by making himself a clown and then hit the turtle on the head to got the promotion.
by Saravanan599 August 20, 2019
mugGet the hit the turtle on the headmug.

Share this definition